Mommyologist

“You’re fat.”

“You’re so freakin’ old.”

“Your ass is huge.”

“Your boobs are totally saggy and make you look like an 80-year-old woman.”

“You’re ugly. And unattractive. And did I mention ugly?”

“You’re washed up.”

“Your time is over.”

“See that girl over there? She’s way skinnier and prettier than you.”

“That part of your life doesn’t exist anymore.”

“You aren’t worth it.”

“You don’t deserve to be happy.”

“YOU ARE NOT SEXY.”

These are only a few examples of the verbal diarrhea that has been filling my brain, coming out of my mouth, and pretty much destroying my Mom Sexy for the past couple of years or so.

Remember when I was like, ready to take over the world? You know, back in April of 2011 when I had this blog redesigned and wanted to encourage and inspire other women to feel confident and happy in their own skin and accept themselves wholeheartedly at whatever given point in their lives they were at?

Yeah — I was ridin’ the wave and preaching all sorts of nauseating positivity — but then something happened and I totally lost it. And it wasn’t one thing in particular that made me fall into a funk that has been nearly impossible to crawl out of. It was due to many factors, which when combined, were a recipe for self-loathing and negativity.

To put it plain and simple — somewhere along the line I stopped giving a shit about myself. I stopped taking care of me. I neglected myself to the point where I was pretty much convinced that all of the above statements (and more) were true.

And then a few weeks ago I suddenly “woke up” again.

I won’t elaborate on the series of events that have somehow managed to give me the swift kick in the ass I needed to make me want to crawl out of the hole full of bullshit I’d confined myself to for so long.

The important part is that I HAVE crawled out — and I’m back.

Yes, my friends — I think I’ve found my Mom Sexy again — and this time I really don’t want to lose it. For the first time in a LOONNNGGGG time — I feel like ME again. And the only way I’m going to remain on an upward swing is by TAKING CARE of ME again.

I’m paying attention to what I put into my body. (Get your head out of the gutter. I meant I’m eating really clean and healthy and all that shiz.)

I’m working out. Like a lot. Like every day if I can.

I’m making myself a priority.

I’m looking in the mirror each and every single day and giving myself some sort of compliment.

I’m taking a lot more deep breaths.

I’m reactivating my “I Don’t Give a Fuck” switch and not letting other people’s negativity and bullshit bring me down.

And most importantly — I’m REFUSING to feel guilty about doing any of those things.

Because I DESERVE it.

And I’m WORTH it.

I’m Mom Sexy.

And I’ll be DAMNED if I’m gonna let anyone take it from me again.