Give It To Me Baby!

Last night was a typical Saturday evening in my household. We had purchased the Wii Resort at Target earlier that afternoon, which was happily occupying our son. My husband and I had some time to ourselves while our little one was distracted by technology. We both got that look in our eyes…one thing led to another…and the room was filled with sounds like, “Ohhhh…mmmmm…ahhh…GROAN…Oh yeah, Ooooooo, OH MY GOD”, all accompanied by heavy breathing and sighing. Yep, you guessed it. Our house was once again filled with the sounds of the hubby and I enjoying two absolutely delicious large pizzas. A meatball and a barbeque chicken to be exact! To any passerby, you would’ve thought another baby was being conceived, but alas it was just a married couple of six years enjoying the guilty pleasure of a good meal.

In fact, it seems that I don’t have time for any extracurricular activities anymore. Between preschool, playdates, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking dinner, and trying to raise and develop a well adjusted three and a half year old so that he doesn’t turn into some sort of freakazoid one day who winds up on America’s Most Wanted, the only thing remotely extracurricular that I HAVE or even WANT time for is SLEEP! Since having my son, my priorities have completely shifted. A good example of the shift? Let’s go back to those fun weekend getaways when my husband and I were dating/married before the bundle arrived. We would check into our hotel room and be absolutely elated to find a huge king sized bed complete with fluffy pillows and the most cush comforter you can imagine. The luggage wasn’t through the door yet and we were already breaking that bad boy in! I mean, what other purpose do hotel beds serve? They literally scream DO ME!!! Ok, on to the present tense. Nowadays, the hubster and I are lucky when we get an overnight getaway to ourselves. When we do…we check into the same hotel rooms with the same huge king size beds with the same fluffy pillows. The difference is that we are absolutely overjoyed at the thought of putting on our pj’s, getting into that big bed and reading a book, and sleeping completely through the night and not being awakened by the sound of a little boy on a baby monitor yelling, “MOMMMM-AY!!! DADDD-AY!!! It’s SEVEN o’clock and I’M UP!!!” Yep, that’s right. You’ve made the shift to parenthood when sleep absolutely 100% takes priority over any sort of funny business. And don’t even get me started on food. Give me that meatball pizza any day of the week and I’m SPENT!

I used to be so turned on by red wine, roses, curling up in front of a fireplace and holding hands, you know, all that romantic garbage. You know what gets me hot these days? When my husband suddenly decides to clean the entire kitchen and even sweep the floors without me asking him to. Or when he shuts the bathroom door…even BETTER! When he cleans out and reorganizes the pantry? OHHHHHH I may just pass out from complete ecstasy at the thought of it. Throw in him taking our son out for the day and letting me have the house to myself for a few hours? Ok, let’s not get carried away. I’m starting to feel like an addict. That’s right ladies. Bring on the pizza. I could go for Round 2 right about now!

The Mommyologist’s Last Word to all you kid-free ladies: “Get thee to a hotel room – STAT!”