Welcome to the very first Monday of 2010! I hope that everyone had a nice long weekend and that you are ready to dive right into the New Year! I don’t know about you, but I feel like it is going to be tough to get back into a normal routine this week. I always have the worst time getting all my ducks in a row after any sort of holiday break. It may take me a few days of playing catch up, but I’m more than ready to get back into some sort of groove!
I am really looking forward to getting to know more of my readers this year, so I thought that a good place to start was to give all of you a little bit of insight into the person behind The Mommyologist. A friend of mine tagged me a while back on Facebook in one of those “20 random things about me” notes. I thought that I’d go ahead and write a similar blog post in order to help everyone get to know the girl behind the blog a little better.
20 Random Things You Never Knew About The Mommyologist
1. I am absolutely, 100% completely terrified of butterflies. When I say terrified, I mean that if one of those little flutter devils is within 10 feet of me, you will either find me frozen like a corpse in fear with my hands over my eyes yelling, “IS IT GONE YET? IS IT GONE? TELL ME WHEN IT GOES AWAY!!”, or you will find me running away from the damn thing like a bat out of hell screaming at the top of my lungs and possibly crying too. Needless to say, my son gets a total kick out of it when this occurs. And yes, I know that they don’t bite. I still live in fear.
2. I have never lived anywhere longer than six years. In fact, I can’t even conceive of living in one place for more than six years. We’ve been in our current home for almost three years now, so I figure I’m at the halfway mark for packing things up. I have a hard time hanging pictures on the wall, because it’s always been my experience that the minute the pictures go up, something happens and it is time for them to come down again so that we can move on to the next city, so maybe if I never hang them up in the first place, there is some small chance that we’ll actually stay put for a change.
3. I have a major addiction to reality TV. I mean, I seriously think that I might need help sometimes. The Bachelor premieres tonight, with Jake the pilot, and I’m acting like a giddy little school girl because I can barely stand the anticipation. I’ve had the DVR set up for a week. I am one of those idiots who actually believes that Chris Harrison will deliver when he tells me to “stay tuned for the most dramatic rose ceremony EVER.” And I absolutely love it when some chick gets rip roarin’ drunk at the first cocktail party and sleeps through that rose ceremony and the Bachelor sends her home because there “just wasn’t that special connection.” My guess is that he just doesn’t want to risk being puked on. Only a few more hours till the drunkfest begins. I can’t wait!
4. As much as I love my reality TV, I have a real problem with celebrities, in particular celebrity moms, portraying themselves as perfect and setting a false standard for how life is supposed to be after having a child. Did anyone else catch a glimpse of J. Lo in Times Square on New Year’s Eve? Don’t get me wrong, she looked awesome in her flesh-hugging jumpsuit while she pranced around on stage as if she were at some sort of “gentleman’s club.” I’m sorry, but I think she would’ve looked just as beautiful in a nice, tasteful cocktail dress. Instead, her stylist must’ve thought it was better to put her in a catsuit in order to “stick it” to the million or so moms out there who were tuning in for the ball drop that night and wondering why they can’t pull off a catsuit too. (I know I can’t! And honestly, I wouldn’t want to). And don’t even get me started on how turned off I was when she stuck her tongue down Marc Anthony’s throat at the stroke of midnight. I’m all about giving my hubby a nice peck on the lips in public, but we’re certainly not about to play tonsil hockey on live television.
5. I absolutely love red meat and could never be a vegetarian. I’ve attempted to go the vegetarian route a couple times, and I can live without the chicken, pork, etc., but each and every time I try to go cold turkey with no meat, I wind up craving a nice, juicy, FAT steak. I guess I could be a red meat vegetarian, but in the sense that red meat is the only meat that I would eat. Does that even make sense? I didn’t think so.
6. I am a dreamer. And I mean this in the literal sense. I dream each and every single night, and I have very vivid dreams. I remember them every morning, and some are so lifelike that I can actually remember them months…or sometimes even years later. I feel bad for people who don’t dream. To me it’s like taking a mini-vacation every single night. And you get to see and talk to people that you thought you’d never encounter again. It’s kinda cool!
7. I am extremely intrigued by anything paranormal. I believe in ghosts, in fact I’m actually pretty sure that I’ve seen one, and when you see a ghost, there is just no doubt about what you are looking at. I’ve also felt or sensed spirits more times than I can count. I love the romance of someone being so connected to a person or place that they choose to remain in our world after death. I’m lucky that there are so many awesome paranormal shows out there these days to feed my reality TV habit. Ghost Hunters is my favorite, and I’m not ashamed to admit that if I ever saw the black TAPS vehicles driving through my town, I’d follow them like it was my job. And I’d be totally star struck by Jason and Grant. They’d probably call the cops on me.
8. I went to the University of Tennessee and earned a Bachelor’s Degree in Psychology there. My blood ran orange up until a little over a year ago, when my father had a hemorrhagic stroke and was saved by the amazing neurosurgeons at Shands Hospital at the University of Florida. Ironically, they were the same team of surgeons who had saved my mother from a brain tumor three years earlier. Sorry Vols, you may have given me a fun college experience and I definitely mastered the art of beer funneling, but the Gators gave me back my parents. I’m officially rooting for them now. I hope you can forgive me.
9. I absolutely love to travel, and I am a great flyer. A few years ago, I was on a flight from Denver to Atlanta and the power went out on the plane. We had to make an emergency landing in Tulsa and there were firetrucks and ambulances all over the runway when we touched down. I remember feeling completely powerless at 30,000 feet, and that is when I realized that my number is up when my number is up, and choosing to get on a plane or not get on a plane wasn’t going to change that.
10. I am really starting to think that the old wives tale of it being good luck if it rains on your wedding day is true. My husband and I actually had perfect weather and a full-moon wedding on the beach in the Florida Keys, but only because our original plans of getting married in Bermuda were wiped out by Hurricane Fabian a month before our date and we had to re-plan the whole thing in four weeks. If rain is good luck, then a hurricane must really seal the deal!
11. If I could have any superpower, it would be the ability to time-travel. I think that it would be so much fun to go back in time and visit my great-grandparents and grandparents when they were my age, and my parents when they were kids, without them having any idea who I was, of course. Seriously, in my mind, the coolest thing ever would be to have my great-grandmother teach me how to make homemade pierogies. Or to go out to lunch with one of my grandmothers when things were still elegant and you actually put on heels and gloves to go out to lunch. Or to hang out with my mom when she was a college gal…that would be cool! And I also wouldn’t mind taking in an Elvis concert or two.
12. My favorite movie of all time is The Sound of Music. I could watch it 100 times over and over again and sing along the whole way and I’d still wind up just as inspired as I was the first time that I saw it when I was about five years old. First of all, I’m going to go ahead and put it out there that Captain Von Trapp is a total catch. There’s just something about the whole “I’m in charge” thing that he does with the whistle that makes me weak in the knees. And if I ever fulfill my lifelong dream of traveling to Salzburg, the locals better be prepared for me to hop from bench to bench in the famous gazebo on the Sound of Music tour acting like I am, in fact, 16 going on 17. (Wait a minute…scratch that because I’m totally not into Rolf. I’ll be Maria in this scenario…after the Captain ditches the Baroness and comes looking for her in that gazebo and they look into each other’s eyes and sing “I Must’ve Done Something Good”… Yessss Captain?). And finally, I get a warm feeling in my heart and feel all empowered when I hear the Reverend Mother say that, “you have to live the life you were born to live.” Amen Sista! For the record, I’m trying my best to take her advice.
13. I am completely and totally obsessed with Hanky Panky brand thongs. They are unbelievable. If you don’t have them yet, run out and buy some TODAY. I have converted so many of my friends into Hanky Panky girls. I really can’t shut up about them and I’ve basically had my own marketing campaign for years (shouting from the rooftops how great these things are)! For those of you who aren’t in on the secret yet, they are these lacy thong underwear that are comfortable as HELL, yet totally sexy at the same time. You can’t even tell you are wearing them (meaning that they don’t ride up your ass like dental floss) and there are absolutely zero panty lines with these things. The best part? They are…(wait for it)…ONE SIZE FITS ALL! They aren’t kidding on this one, because I wore those suckers right up through my last month of pregnancy, and I had gained a good 50 pounds. I checked into the hospital wearing a maternity track suit (nothing else fit) and a Hanky Panky thong. And I was the sexiest chick that had ever hit Sky Ridge Medical Center.
14. I have a photographic memory. I can remember things that I just really shouldn’t remember. I can remember my phone number when I was in 2nd grade, my pediatrician’s name and face when I was five years old, and of course, I can remember each and every single thing that any given person on any given day has ever said to me. And I tend to save material and bring it out at a later date to use as ammunition when we are in some GOD awful fight. Just ask my hubby. He loves my memory…I’m SURE of it.
15. Let’s go back to The Bachelor/The Bachelorette. As much as I love that show and love my reality TV, I just have to admit to the world that I can’t stand it when one of the contestants busts out a guitar and sings to the other person. It makes me cringe. I actually get embarrassed for them. Some girls love a guy with a guitar to serenade them, but me, not so much. (Note: Captain Von Trapp is a total exception. He could sing Edelweiss to me any day of the week and I’d totally swoon). Ditch that guitar, and open my car door instead.
16. I am Silver Preferred on USAirways, which means that I get complimentary upgrades to First Class a LOT. I’d like to clarify (since some people have apparently been offended by the fact that I’ve flown First Class a time or two this year and misconstrue this fact as me being some sort of snob) that the reason that I am Silver Preferred is because last year, I flew back and forth to Florida a hundred times or so to visit my Dad in the hospital, or to go see him after he finally came home. I racked up enough miles to bump me up to the next Preferred Level of membership. I earned each and every single airline mile that I flew last year, and, in my opinion, I earned each and every single First Class seat that I was comp upgraded to. Trust me, I would’ve taken coach any day over what went down last year. Now cut me some slack. End of discussion.
17. In my high school yearbook superlatives, I was voted “Most Likely to Believe Anything.” The sad thing is that this wasn’t a joke. I have to be about the most gullible chick on the face of the planet. Honestly, sometimes I think that under the right circumstances, you could probably convince me that Clark Kent was in fact Superman.
18. My best friend from high school and I once stole a wooden Petunia Pig statue out of the front yard of a guy we knew. I can honestly say, to this day, I have NEVER laughed so hard in my entire life. We took that damn pig hostage and took pictures with her and then framed one of the photos and gave it to the guy as a gift. And then we returned the pig. One of the highlights of my life was driving away with her with that wooden pig in the trunk of her Mitsubishi Mirage. I’m practically in tears I’m laughing so hard about it as I type this. (Excuse me, I have to take a break before I pee my pants).
19. I love roller coasters. LOVE ‘EM! And the best roller coaster ever is the Thunderbolt at Kennywood Park in Pittsburgh, PA. That is, if the Thunderbolt is still there. I haven’t been there in like 20 years. I need to do something about that.
20. I LOVE to play blackjack. If you get me on a $5 table with a good dealer, I can rock and roll for a good four or five hours all from the same $20 bill I started with. Sometimes I get so into it that I won’t even take a pee break for fear of losing my streak. If you ever catch a glimpse of me sitting at a table and I’m putting my hands above my head and yelling “WOO-HOO” and singing that Miley Cyrus song that I still can’t decide if I love or hate (I know that you all know which one I’m referring to) it’s best to just let me have my moment because I do truly believe that “they’re playin’ my song.” Oh yeah, and be sure to send the nurse (a.k.a. cocktail waitress) by if you see her.
There you have it ladies and gentlemen! Now that you know a little more about me, I’d love for any of you to post your own 20 random things! It would be fun to know a little more about my readers!
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