Happy Valentine’s Day Everyone! I hope that you all have something special planned with your special someone…even if that means a night in with the kiddos watching the Disney Channel and eating popcorn! They’ll go to bed eventually, right?
The hubster and I managed to score the babysitter this evening and are headed out to one of our favorite restaurants for martinis and dinner. I was absolutely shocked that she was available and thought that there was no chance in hell of us getting out for a date tonight because she recently got engaged. I’d like to say a huge thanks to her awesome fiance for letting us borrow her tonight so that my son can hang out with his favorite Valentine and so I can hang out with mine!
In thinking about how lucky we are that we are actually managing to have a Valentine’s Day date, I started thinking about how much this day has changed since our little man arrived. I thought back to 2005, the year before his birth, and what would be our last Valentine’s Day as a married couple with no children. We were living out in Denver then, and our favorite restaurant in the whole world was (and actually still is) Del Frisco’s. I would always make the reservation a good month and a half in advance to make sure we secured a table for February 14th at the exact time we wanted, in order to allow enough time for us to have a stogie in the cigar lounge after dinner. I don’t know about all you other ladies out there, but I love a good stogie once in a while. There’s something about puffing on one of those bad boys that makes me feel kinda sexy, ya know? And for whatever reason, I love the smell of cigar smoke. Always have, always will. I think it’s because it reminds me of my grandfather.
Anyhoo, here we are in 2010 jumping for joy because our babysitter was free tonight, and I thought it would be funny to point out some examples of just how much things have changed in five years!
Date Nights in 2005 versus Date Nights in 2010
It Was So Romantic When…
2005: The hubster walked into the kitchen of our first home because he was drawn in by the wonderful smells of the delicious home cooked five-course meal I was making him. He found me with mascara streaming down my cheeks from chopping onions all night, told me how beautiful I was, and handed me a tissue.
2010: The hubster walks into the kitchen and hands me a tissue because he’s just watched our son run up to me and hand me a giant booger that’s just been freshly picked out of his nose.
2005: The hubster wanted to do something thoughtful, so he picked me up a beautiful bouquet of flowers on his way home from work.
2010: The hubster wanted to do something thoughtful, so he picked me up a brand new package of Shick razors on his way home from work in the hopes that I’d take the hint.
2005: On a typical Friday night, the hubster and I would get about ten minutes into a movie and then have a full-blown make-out session on the couch for the rest of the flick.
2010: On a typical Friday night, the hubster usually falls asleep about thirty minutes into the movie, and I get a little giddy because I get to finish all of the popcorn in the bowl without any competition for those last few kernels.
2005: The hubster and I would go out for a fancy dinner complete with lots of wine, appetizers, entrees, and of course cigars….and then we’d come home to enjoy a little “dessert.”
2010: The hubster and I go out for dinner, have a drink or two because we don’t want to look trashed in front of the babysitter, and we come home, plop ourselves down on the couch and pig out on the to-go desserts that we brought home from the restaurant, which makes us both so full that we can barely move, so we head straight up to bed with no hopes of our bloated selves being able to pull off any sort of funny business. (Though we’re just as satisfied from the huge slices of cake we just consumed. In fact, the cake is pretty damn close to complete ecstasy).
2005: The hubster and I made sure to pick out just the right cards for Valentine’s Day that accurately described how unique and special our love for each other was and how we could not stand the thought of being apart for one second. (I just threw up in my mouth a little bit).
2010: The hubster and I both have to try our hardest to resist the urge to pick out a Valentine’s Day card that includes a joke about farts.
2005: After a fabulous date night, the hubster and I were so hot for each other that we were lucky if we made it through the night and actually got some sleep, if you catch my drift.
2010: After a fabulous date night, the hubster and I are lucky if we make it through an entire night without one of us farting in our sleep. (There I go again with the farts).
2005: While out to dinner, the hubster and I would make sure to avoid any of the traditional items that you aren’t supposed to eat on a date, such as garlic, onions, etc.
2010: While out to dinner, the hubster and I chow down on every date night “no-no” food that we can get our hands on because after raising a small child, we’ve both smelled things way worse than garlic and onion breath.
2005: On date nights, I would get all gussied up in some slinky outfit that showed off my tight ass and flat belly.
2010: On date nights, I am usually scrambling to get dressed before the babysitter arrives and desperately hoping that I remembered to wash my fat pants because I don’t want anything digging into my waistline while indulging later that evening.
2005: While out on a dinner date with the hubster, I would look at him across the table and give him this sultry little smile and wink at him, and he knew this meant that I had chosen to go commando for the evening.
2010: While out on a dinner date with the hubster, I look at him across the table and smile and wink a little, but it’s because I’m proud that I actually used one of those razors out of the pack he brought home for me earlier in the week. And if he’s really lucky, I’m wearing the new red gel padded bra that I bought from Target the previous day. (I’ve got some sexy left in me)!
2005: The hubster and I would go out each Valentine’s Day and admire and point out all of the other happy and in-love couples who were at the restaurant and we’d comment on how adorable they were.
2010: The hubster and I will go out tonight for our Valentine’s date and look at those same happy and in-love (and young) couples, and then we’ll look at each other and laugh a little because we know that both of us are picturing that happy and in-love couple a few years down the road hovered over a changing table and fighting about what in the hell they are supposed to do to make their baby stop screaming while dodging projectile poop at the same time. Yep, we were that cute couple once too. But a baby changes EVERYTHING. And I still wouldn’t go back to the adorable stage for all the money in the world. And for the record, I still think we are a pretty cute couple. And we’d definitely kick that other couple’s ass in a poop-dodging competition.
*To all of my wonderful followers, a couple people have pointed out that they have needed to un-follow and then re-follow me in order for my new posts to show up in their Google Reader since my big move over to WordPress. I’d hate to lose touch with any of you, so if you wouldn’t mind doing the same thing, I’d really appreciate it! Thanks everyone and have a wonderful Valentine’s Day!!*
Click here to grab a button 
Ha! A baby changes everything, really. You are so so right! Not much traditional romance for us, this year. I guess, in a way, a visit to the Children’s Museum can be considered romantic, right?
Thanks for the good laughs this morning. Kids to change a lot but as you point out; not in a bad way just in a less romantic way. I am sure there are those who are still just as romantic as they once were B.C. (before children) but I think most are like you and your hubster. Thanks for sharing and have a Happy Valentines Day.
Funny post… and probably insight into what the next few years of my life will be like. Today is the first v-day with a child and at 9:30 this morning I was grabbing a card & sweedish fish at WalMart and will try to pass that off as my gift to him this afternoon. If I make it to the bedroom with him at some point today that will make up for lack of gifts, right?
Funny!
I hear ya. Five years ago I had one child. Then, I inherited a step son (who lives with us), we had twins together and then bonus (oh my lands are you serious how the hell did I get pregnant again) baby to make for five little boys total. (Who has been an absolute blessing and I adore him more than words can explain!)
Date night.. does not exist.
The wink, wink, whoopy stuff, is where ever we can get it… you know what I mean. And we take full advantage of it. Even if he falls asleep on the couch from pure exhaustion and I fall asleep with children in our bed… we meet up. We must!
And by the way, my kitchen in closed!
Love it! I cannot tell you how many blogs I have read these past couple of days and today about how Valentine’s Day has changed (my own included!!) since having kids. It’s so funny how striking the differences are and what an impact the years have made. Your post is such an amusing take on it all! I love your humor. Clicked on your box for Top Mommy Blogs
I stopped having sex after I had a baby too. Then I got divorced and learned I have every other weekend free. Do you know who I spend those weekends with? My ex husband. Go figure.
Enjoy your date tonight!
Love this post! After 3 babies, our idea of romance is totally different than it was back when we were that cute young couple. Hubby changed Baby Girl’s diaper and folded a load of laundry this morning…and it was the most romantic gift of all, lol!
Oh…yes, yes, yes! (I realized after I typed this how, before kids, the “oh…yes, yes, yes” would have been in reference to something else – wink, wink, nudge, nudge) I SO relate to the contrast! After kids, my husband and my love is expressed SO differently – this morning, I didn’t even bother getting upset when I mentioned Valentine’s day, he said surprised, “Is that today?” Oh well!
That was great, and oh so true! LOL I was cracking up about the fart cards and farting in your sleep. The other day, at 6:30 a.m., the Hubs got out of bed and went downstairs because I was snoring. Oh. so. sexy. LOL
Such a true post! BTW your new blog looks so amazing, I may sell one of my kids to raise the money to have mine done also! (I’m just kidding would never sell them. I only rent them out)
LOL This is so true!
A different kind of relationship evolves after kids.
Let’s see if this worked- I tried to go get a gravatar, so that you could see that this is me!
Woohoo!
Is that enough comments from me tonight?
Hope you enjoyed your night out!
Oh that is SO TRUE! One of our favorite jokes is to reminisce about when we were “young and in love” — ah! Life before children.
(I had the same problem with my Followers… i tried for two weeks to figure out a way to redirect the feed, but to no avail. Oi)
LOL! Life sure does change after kids-for the better or course.
HILARIOUS!!! You had me busting up through this whole list. I totally relate to everything!! Most especially the toddler handing me boogers. What IS that about anyway? Happy Valentine’s Day!!!
All those changes in 5 years! You had me absolutely laughing like crazy!!!
This is SO spot on! And funny! I relate to ALL of this – but especially the part about only having a few drinks so the babysitter (my MIL) doesn’t think I’m trashed and the too bloated from dinner for any bow chicka a wow wow! So true.
And I love a good stogie every now and then too.
Awesome post! sooo true! All changes for the better (I keep saying that to myself so that it will sink in!) Thanks for the hint about unfollowing and following – I am going to do that now.
Ahhh love it. So true all your points. I really started laughing when you were talking about your cigar b/c I spent many a nights before my husband and I got married being the classy woman that I was at a bar drinking red wine all the while puffing away on a cigar. We have years before we can enjoy that awesomeness again (well after having the bambino and the next year that follows nursing)
Cheers to you and yours!
I can so relate to your before and after. Cracked me up about the farting in bed haahha! So true but am glad we are so comfortable in our marriages – it’s what other couples dream of!!
Sounds like you two have the right stuff
I laughed out loud at the bit about taking the shaving hint. I never would of believed that I would neglect that chore so much! I’m glad I’m not the only one out there.
We did exactly nothing for Valentine’s Day. Maybe next year…it could happen.
Hi, I just found your blog and love it. This post was so funny and true. I love the 2005 to 2010 Valentine’s Day comparisons.
All of that in five years? Your retro vs. now comparison had me cracking up.
This is SO True and so funny…I have tears in my eyes. My husband and I have been together so long we look at each other and one of the two always blurts out do you really want to get valentine’s day cards this year? Romantic I know! Hope you had a great date night!
LOVED this article! You are such a funny gal
I could kick your butt in a poop dodging competition any day! LMBO!
I really like the quotes from your son in your sidebar. Your sense of humor makes being a SAHM soooooo fun!!
So, so true! I am constantly amazed by just how much our lives have changed and how absolutely clueless we were about those changes beforehand.
As usual, you nailed it. This February 14 found me sacked out, face down on the bed at 7:45…still wearing the Target sexy underwear I had bought with good intentions. The poor hub just pulled the covers up and turned off the light for me…
Hilarious!! And the farts…haha!!
We try to find cards with squirrels and nuts. God, why are those so damn funny to me?? Lol!
xo and glad you two got a date nite–lucky girl!
OMG- CRACK ME UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Now I know what to look forward to… better get my A-game out now.
Four babies REALLY change everything. I LOVED the 2005 vs. 2010. SOOO true and perfect! Not sure if you’re still in FL, but if so.. hope it’s going really well w/the fam and your little man!!
Hilarious and oh so true… LOVE it!!
This is great! I can relate because we were childless in ’05 as well….5 years later and 2 kids for us!