Ok, so any of you who have been following along with my “Tall Tales From La-La Land” series know that there is pretty much nothing on the face of the Earth that makes me more insane than celebrity moms who claim to be back in their size 0 jeans the day they leave the hospital. Or celebrity moms who claim that their perfectly bred offspring “only whimpers a little” and never cries. At all. (Why would a baby cry? Are they supposed to do that or something)?
Or how about those celebrity moms who claim that they are “doing everything themselves” and still “aren’t the least little bit tired.” Um, yeah…the lack of bags under their eyes and the fact that they look like they’ve had a shower in the last 48 hours pretty much gives away the fact that there is absolutely no way in hell that a baby nurse isn’t getting up around the clock with their perfectly quiet infant, not to mention taking care of the whole “shit-up-the-back” issue. God forbid that a bodily function from her own flesh and blood should potentially pose a threat to Mommy’s La Perla lingerie. And yes, mommy IS wearing lingerie because according to her A-list self, she and her equally famous hubster are getting it on like a couple of teenagers in the backseat of a Chevy every night.
Since I’m a big fan of exposing celebrity bullshit in the hopes of saving unknowing new mothers everywhere from unnecessary bouts of hysteria and self-loathing, I feel that it is also my duty to speak up when someone out in La-La land finally gets it RIGHT. Because somebody finally DID.
I’d like to pause for a second to give a huge round of applause to Kendra Wilkinson. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect when I saw the title of the article, “New Mom Confessions”, but I was more than pleasantly surprised with what she chose to reveal.
photo credit: www.usmagazine.com
Here are a few of the reasons that I’m praising Miss Kendra:
She admits to needing a…
I couldn’t believe it folks! According to Kendra, she “lost herself” because she devoted every spare minute to her new little baby boy, and she “had to find a way back to finding the time to take a shower!” We finally have a Hollywood mom who basically just admitted that her hair was greasy and that her pits and legs (not to mention her feminine regions) were most likely starting to resemble small jungles in those first few weeks after she brought her son home. Does that scenario sound familiar to any of you? I know that I remember it all too well. (And who are we kidding? My son is 4 years old and I still only manage to shave my legs about once a week. And yes, I know how hot that sounds).
She admits that she’s struggling with her weight…
Ok, can I please get a big HELL YEAH on this one? Not only did Miss Kendra admit that she’s had to work really hard to lose her baby weight and that it didn’t just “magically fall off” like it does for most celeb types, she went a step further and gave us a number. Before she got pregnant, the 5′ 4″ playmate “was a slim size 2 and weighed in at 113 pounds.” She is now sitting at a cool 140. Now don’t get all bent out of shape quite yet because I know that some of you are laughing out loud at the fact that she thinks that 140 pounds is a lot of weight. For the record, it’s not. Not even close. But taking into consideration just how cut-throat the whole “Body After Baby” craze is in Hollywood, just think about the guts that it took for this former Playboy Bunny to admit that she’s not quite down to her pre-baby weight yet. As far as Hollywood standards go, she’s practically setting herself up for people in the Entertainment industry to rip her to shreds and call her a heifer. I commend her for putting that number out there!
And I also commend her for admitting that she is indeed working with a trainer, but that she also “loves pepperoni pizza and can’t stick to salad.” What?? No fish, brown rice, and veggies? Applause again please.
She admits that she wasn’t jumping her hubby’s bones right away…
Ok, so this isn’t exactly the first time that I’ve written about Miss Kendra post-baby. You can click here for her original feature detailing how she absolutely couldn’t wait to jump in the sack with her hubby Hank again. Well, according to the new Us Weekly interview, it would appear that this was a bit of an exaggeration. Her take on the whole sex right after baby thing has gone from discussing the mirror on her bedroom ceiling, to saying that, “once you have a baby, everything stops working. Your feelings and your nerves just stop because of giving birth.”
Translation: “I just had an eight pound baby try to come out of my cha-cha and to say that things are a little bit sore down there would be the understatement of the year. And I know I had a C-section, but I’m still cringing. It’s not that I don’t love you honey, but my hoo-hoo hurts just at the thought of trying to jam something back in there. And honestly, do you really want to get with me right now? I mean, I haven’t slept in days, and I stink like STANK because I haven’t showered, and since I haven’t showered I have been able to work my (ahem) razor magic, and there is definite potential that milk will start squirting out of my boobs during the act if my body mistakes a moan for a baby’s cry. Do you still think I’m sexy as hell? I didn’t think so. Let’s give it a few more weeks, okay?”
I am sincerely hoping that Miss Kendra has opened the door for other new mothers in La-La land to be a little less “Hollywood” and a little more mainstream and honest with their accounts on life with a new baby. All I know is that I wish that this particular issue of Us Weekly had come out in those first few months after I became a new mom instead of the hundred or so other “Let’s make mothers across America feel like big fat blubbering failures” articles that I had the pleasure of reading.
Thank you, Kendra, for admitting that although motherhood is wonderful, it hasn’t been a total bed of roses. You’ve definitely made my A-list!
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OK, I totally have to go out and read that issue of US weekly now!
Wow, I’m so impressed by that article!
When I saw the cover in the grocery store, I assumed it would be the same as all the others!
Bravo!! Thanks for sharing this. I think celebs help perpetuate the bad self-image problem for “normal” moms. I can only imagine having PPD and reading something unrealistic from a new celeb mom.
Woo hoo for Kendra! I love her honesty! I seriously have a whole new respect for her speaking truthfully about this subject!
LOVE IT!
I guess she’s human too. Sometimes I forget that.
Dear, Kendra. You still look hot. Don’t loath that after-baby body of yours. Its cool if you don’t get back to size 2 and 115. Cause after baby #2 (and 3 or 4) you will look back at those pics of you post-baby #1 and WISH you had lived it up in that hot body (that you thought was gross). We never appreciate what we’ve got, ladies!
Angie
I caught a little bit of her show last night. I don’t typically watch it but somehow it came on the TV after whatever hubs was watching before hand. I was impressed too. She showed her stomach, stretch marks and all and didn’t try to hid her weight gain. She complained about things that “real” mother’s complain about. It was very nice to hear a celebrity talk the way she did. I haven’t read the article but I’m sure it’s great. Thanks Kendra!!
I think she’s a sweetheart – she always has cracked me up because she seems like a total goofball. Like she is twenty-something going on 13 or something. Love it. And of course love your witty little write-up hon
Kiran
Finally someone that tells it like it is!!! I am really anyone that gets back in a size 0 3 weeks after having a baby is plan lying! I am come on really! I am glad she says it like it is..
Great post! I have yet to have a baby, but I always hate when celebrities say “i’m just built this way”…no you are not! lol You go to the gym all the time cause it’s your job to look that way! The woman who play cuddy (sp?) on House was on the red carpet for the Golden Globes was great and honest….Ryan seacrest asked her how she stays so thin…and she said something along the lines of “It’s my job to look this way so I work really hard at it” lol good for you!
Well, that’s ONE Hollywood personality being honest about motherhood, one more than we had yesterday, so that’s progress. How long will it be before we see the next one?
AMEN!
Great post. You, as usual, crack me up.
I haven’t watched her show since she left that bunny show at the mansion (and didn’t watch much of that) but she is hilarious! Thank you for telling us all how honest she was!
You shave once a week? Congrats! Um…..yeah…..that reminds me of something I need to do….LOL
Standing O for Miss Kendra!
I haven’t read the article, but I did watch her season premiere last night. I’m not exactly down with everything that is Kendra, but I do love her down-to-earth normal-ness! Not only did she admit to struggling with her weight on the show, but she also showed her post-baby belly skin and all. Has anyone else done that? Good for her. And she seems so in love with her little boy. It’s great!
You should watch her show. She is very real in everything she does. It’s not at all like these staged reality shows. I’ve been a fan of hers since Girls Next Door.
Great article! Thanks for sharing. And two thumbs up to Kendra for her honesty!
Last night the new season of Kendra’s show premeired on E! and I watched just to see how she would be as a mom in Hollywood. And I was so impressed, she was just like me, I felt that for the first time I could actually relate to her. I have not read the article yet but I def. will now! I too applaud her and say Good for her! It’s nice to see another celeb mom come out and say hey I am only human and it takes a while to get back to how I was pre-baby!
Thank you sooo much for sharing! And GO KENDRA! This post makes me feel a little better about myself! Thank you for that.
I LOVE her! Except for her laugh…herr laugh drives me NUTS!
great post on kendra…read the same article and watched her on E! she is NORMAL…just like us!
That’s great! It gets tiring reading that every celebrity has no problems post-baby and that the pounds mysteriously disappear while they are in new mom bliss. Uhhuh. Right. It’s great that she was open and honest about her experience!
::Claps wildly:: HAHAH! I’m laughing & commenting when I should be working, but I LOVED this post and the fact that a hollywood type was real about her post partum body.
That is super awesome that she decided to get real and tell it like it is! I hope more Hollywood moms get their act together and tell the truth about life after giving birth – even if that means that they have to cop to having a baby nurse.
Finally a celebrity that says it’s OK about not losing the baby weight yet, Did I tell you my daughter will be 22 this week? 22. As in years. Not months. Seriously.
I loved this post and may or may not have made some rather unladylike noises while laughing.
Thank you for sharing this! I actually saw a preview for Kendra’s show this morning on the TV while I was at the gym. So it’s so funny that you decided to cover this today. The preview actually made me want to watch her show. She seemed really realistic about the whole mothering thing. It’s also comforting to hear that someone in Hollywood isn’t just eating “brown rice and fish”. Ha! I’m really considering tuning in.
It’s about damn time! That’s all I got to say.
Well that and Mmmm…pepperoni pizza.
I’ve always loved Kendra! Seriously–she seems, well, real.
Finally someone that people can say–hey, if Kendra is eating the pizza? I can, too
And, yes, I totally love my pizza.
xo
It’s refreshing to see a celeb admit that she is in fact a real person like the rest of us! Love it.
You seriously crack me up! So flipping funny-the translation with the cha-cha and hoo-hoo and the do ya think I’m still sexy? Perfectly done!
Just found your blog and LOVE IT! You had me laughing and saying Amen Sister! Thank you for your wit and honesty!!
Hi! I’m a new visitor (and member) from The Lady Bloggers Society! I am excited to have found your blog. I LOVE Kendra, and always have. I am a mom of 2 boys, one is 7 the other will be 1 on saturday! Looking forward to reading more of your posts =)
She seems like a pretty straightforward girl who is not afraid to be herself. Thanks for sharing!
“stink like STANK” is the best thing EVAH! Bwuahahahahha! I <3 you and your blog!
~Miranda
*clapping loudly*
And another thing, just who do these celebrities think they are impressing with their post baby bodies and perfect spawn? All of the moms in the world know they’re full of it and the men don’t read that crap.
BWWWAAHAHAHAAHA Hilariously TRUE!
And here I thought I was the *only* one who all that happened to. har!
Finally a celeb mom who admits to being like the rest of us! Yahoo! By the way, who is Kendra Wilkinson?
I read this post. Yesterday. I thought I commented. Have the evil spammers gotten to you, too?
Actually, I stopped by to thank you for your recent comment. I appreciate your willingness to be heard on a heavy topic. Also, I’m awaiting your new series…go, girl!
I did a post Mon. March 15 about the NYTimes article on the boot camp. Since I know you were there, I’d love your opinion, if time allows.
Yep. Kendra is pretty cool. I knew I watched that trashyesque show of hers for a reason.
Wow, I’m impressed by her! Woohoo!
HELL YEAH! Finally and a Playboy Bunny also! She is on my A list for sure!
Another great post! Love your sense of humor…and reality checks!
I cannot agree with you more! I just read this article yesterday and I was so happy. Finally…a REAL person! I feel like Jessica Simpson is like this too…another one of my favorite celebs!