One of These Days, I’m Gonna Get My Ass Kicked
posted on Mar. 1, 2010
This past weekend was just plain awesome. It was a busy one complete with lots of running around like a chicken with my head cut off, but it was worth it! On Saturday, I attended a baby shower and had way more fun than I usually expect to have at a baby shower. Great company, great food, great cake (not too sweet with a light and delish whipped cream frosting), and great champagne punch that I was definitely not shy about diving into once or twice (ok, so I had about four cups, but they were small cups. Ok, maybe they weren’t that small).
Since I was gone most of the afternoon on Saturday, yesterday was spent completely devoted to my husband and son. We had a lazy morning at home, which consisted of lots of coffee and a new Wii fishing game, and then we went out to lunch at one of our favorite local deli’s, and then to the Connecticut Science Center…one of my son’s favorite spots to go with his Daddy. That’s right, I said his DADDY.
You see, yesterday was only my second visit to the CT Science Center. I went there once with my boys when it first opened, but since then, it has pretty much been designated as a “Daddy’s Day Out” kind of place. The hubster was smart and bought us a membership on our first visit, and it has more than paid for itself. He and my son have been at least a half a dozen times. It’s kind of become their “thing” on weekends when Mommy is occupied with some kind of other adult activity. My tagging along yesterday was a rare exception to this rule. And now I know why.
Ok, it’s confession time. And I’m sincerely hoping that my bloggy sister will forgive me for this one, especially since she and I are actually meeting (WOO-HOO!!!!) this coming weekend at Bloggy Boot Camp and sharing a hotel room!
I’m a pretty cool chick and most people like me (or at least I think so), but in certain situations, I can be kind of a motherbitch. Again, I’m hoping my bloggy sister forgives me for not only admitting that I can be kind of a motherbitch sometimes, but also for borrowing her word for this post.
(My asking for her forgiveness is really just a formality because she is beyond awesome and won’t care that I act like a motherbitch once in a while and she certainly won’t care that I’ve stolen her word. It’s not my first offense, by the way).
Let me go ahead and set the scene for you. The CT Science Center has this awesome new exhibit all about polar bears and penguins and things found in the Arctic. There is even this cool little polar bear’s den that you can crawl into and hide! My son was terrified to go in there because there is also a little button that you push and it makes a sound like a polar bear’s growl. The hubster was another story. All six feet of him crawled into that two foot tall opening. And I think he was pretty psyched about it.
I actually wondered why there weren’t a bunch of kiddos climbing over each other to crawl into this den. It seemed kind of strange to me because I thought that this was the sort of thing that kids would go nuts for. As we made our way to the other end of the exhibit, I figured out the reason for the uncharacteristic lack of children. It was because there was another attraction on the other end of the room that was completely stealing the show. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the penguin slide.
The little guy doing a face plant going down the penguin slide? Yep, that’s my son. The little kid who is pushing him down the slide? Yep, he belonged to some other parent who was nowhere to be seen. And as for the guy in the right corner of the photo who is sort of giving me the evil eye? Yep, that’s the hubster. And he’s giving me the evil eye for a reason. He’s giving me the evil eye because after six years of marriage, there is a certain look on my face that he has come to know and most definitely doesn’t love. I guess it’s the motherbitch look, which basically means that I’m about to have diarrhea of the mouth without giving a flying fig about who hears me.
You can’t see it in the picture because it is hidden behind the hubster, but there is a sign next to the penguin slide that gives the rules for the penguin slide. I don’t remember exactly what they said word for word, but the gist of it was pretty much something like this:
- Remove your shoes
- Only one child at a time on the slide
- No pushing, hitting, shoving, etc. (And if that wasn’t on the list of rules, it really should’ve been).
I really don’t care how square I sound right now, but those rules are put there for a reason. And I’m pretty sure the reason has something to do with the fact that the CT Science Center doesn’t want some huge lawsuit against them because some kid cracked his chin open on the steps leading up to that slide (I witnessed one kid come within an inch of doing just that yesterday). And I guess having that little sign right next to the slide is enough to take the liability off the higher-ups at the Science Center. And I guess that the good folks at the Science Center are operating under the assumption that people will actually pay attention to these rules. And guess what? Most people just don’t give a crap.
First and foremost, I want to state very clearly that I am NOT faulting the kids who were playing on that slide yesterday. Kids are expected to break the rules, because they’re kids and that’s what they do. My problem lies with the parents who either stand there and do ABSOLUTELY NOTHING when their kids are clambering over mine and practically throwing him off the back of the slide so that they can get down it before he does. My problem lies with the parent who wandered off to check out the penguin footprints around the corner and left their kid on the slide as he proceeded to shove MY kid down the slide and almost smashed his face into the fake ice. And don’t even get me started about the parents who don’t make their kids take their shoes off before getting on the slide (Rule #1 people!), not to mention the little girl who failed to remove her shoes and proceeded to go down the slide with a PENCIL in her hand. A PENCIL!!!
Thankfully no eyes were lost at the Science Center yesterday, but I’ll tell you one thing. Everyone in the general vicinity of that slide could hear me talking VERY loudly to my son, making sure that he knew the rules. Here’s a little excerpt.
“Ok sweetheart…YOU are going to wait your turn to go down the slide. Just because SOME people don’t know how to wait THEIR turn doesn’t mean that YOU don’t have to wait YOUR turn. (Hubster was turning red at that point).
“Um…EXCUSE ME….but I think the sign says that you’re supposed to take your SHOES OFF!” ”Um, EXCUSE ME….but you are supposed to go DOWN the slide not UP it.”
“Sweetheart…watch out for these BIG kids because THEY AREN’T PAYING ATTENTION AND WILL CLIMB RIGHT OVER YOU!”
Oh yeah. I was a complete and total motherbitch yesterday. But in my defense, after I saw that one kid almost crack his chin in two, I just got a little nervous. I mean, I was having such a great weekend and really didn’t need a trip to the ER thrown in.
And don’t even get me started on the germs that are probably on the bottom of those kids’ shoes. I’m kind of a germophobe as it is, but throw in the fact that I’m headed to Bloggy Boot Camp on Friday and the fact that there are a million sickies running around this state right now and the fact that I will absolutely throw a toddler-style temper tantrum if one of us gets sick and I have to cancel my trip to Baltimore, and you’ve got yourself one neurotic motherbitch to deal with.
Yeah, I think that it’s probably best to keep the Science Center a father-son activity.
Now that I think about it….I think there was a disclaimer in really small print on that sign by the penguin slide.
“WARNING: The Penguin Slide may cause some seemingly normal women to act like motherbitches. Proceed at your own risk.”
Holy cow…I was compelled to see what the fuss was about after seeing the commentary on Twitter…can’t believe #40! What gives anyone the right to think that taking their children somewhere child friendly for the afternoon gives them carte blanche to neglect their parental responsibilities? I’ve always been on guard when I take my children to places like this, because it seems to be the norm. You need a license to drive a car, but any idiot can have children…
You know I loved your post on “Mommy Bullying” as well as this one and I know everyone is a little heated about comment #40. I just want to say that while I disagree with her comments she is not the exception. I am finding more and more parents, even some with very good hearts, even some that I feel are my friends, are ineffective managers of their children or just simply allow their children to behave in an aggressive manner. While I don’t think it is right, it is a reality and I have made it a priority to calm my mother bitch and really model for my children how to take action and stand up for themselves when they are being treated unjustly because I mother bitch will not always be there and their will always be a #40! A suggestion: find an employee over and let them be the bad guy. They have to enforce the rules. I think you are great and don’t let the turkeys get you down!
One of the main reasons I can’t stand going to these types of places is because of parents who don’t watch their children. It’s one thing to just be distracted for a SECOND, but to not know where your kid is is just inexcusable. This post gave me high blood pressure….only because I would have been upset as well. lol I try to teach my daughter that not everyone follows the rules, but that doesn’t mean we don’t. I also try to show her how to stay away and ignore rule breakers.
Totally drives me crazy when parents think that the rules only apply to the other kids, not theirs, and certainly not them! I have a major pet peeve of kids who go up the slide when others are trying to go down. How hard is up, down and around? We are models for our kids, so if there is no one to guide them, teach them the rules, guess what? They will break the rules in elementary school, middle school (such a crucial time) and watch out high school! Children need rules as much as adults do, without them, there would be chaos.
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Great job mommyologist
Love this post, Motherbitch is a great term! I’m used to Mamabear which is what I would be if I was in the same situation.
Post #40 there has it allll wrong! that is exactly the opposite of what we should be teaching our children and as a mother to 3 boys you can bet your ass I won’t be letting them get away with aggressive, rude behaviour and pawn it off as ‘just being boys’. Mothers need to teach their sons better than that.
I get absolutely annoyed when parents don’t watch their kids! Yes it is fun to let the kids run a little wild {I have two boys so I know they just can’t help themselves, haha} but you still have to discipline them! I have been in many situations where other kids have deliberately taken a toy from my boys, pushed them, tackled them, etc. and the parent says nothing! It burns me up because if I see one of my boys do something wrong I dont care where we are I will pull them aside and give them the talk or even give them a time out if I have. I admit boys are wild but that is no excuse to have them not respect other kids.
That “behavior” by parents drives me nuts…just happened this am at my coffee date too! I do the same thing…Talk really loud about the rules and paying attention to others…I am SOOOO popular!
OH girl I hear ya LOUD and clear. I would have been on your hubster’s bad side too because I would have been right smack dab beside ya hollering’ aparently some people ain’t raising their young’uns like they got the sense God gave a goose.. Oh but wait apparently they don’t have parentals cause I don’t see another adult around and NO parent in their right mind would leave their child in a public place and untended.’ Ohhh yeah MOTHERBITCH extreme right here..
Hi Ladies
Just to let you know I’m a bit older than you and I have a grandchild now. I have never had a problem disciplining other people’s children when they fail to do so. In front of them or not. The problem is, it irriates my husband and usually the kids are so bad, it doesn’t work anyway. I continue to do so and you ladies should too. These sorry ass parents that don’t watch their children and let them run wild are just what I said. SORRYASS! BE A MOTHERBITCH if that’s what it’s called.
As far as MY opinion on comment #40: Your children and your attitudes are the reason we have to act like motherbitches at all. If you want to take a break, hire a sitter and leave your kids at home. Don’t take your kid to a PUBLIC place where there are other children, probably younger and smaller than yours, and let them trample all over them because YOU are too lazy to take care of them. Seriously. Because if it were me and you let your kid run over my son, I would just be a bitch. Forget the mother part. This is why our society is the way that it is. People walk around like there aren’t rules to follow and they are allowed to do what they want. That’s crap. We are supposed to raise our kids to be a contributing part of society. Not that they can do what they want without consequences.
I too am an older mom (22 yr old daughter) and have no problem whatsoever having a Come to Jesus meeting with some bully child whose parents are nowhere around. Most times, the responsible parents, are glad someone stepped in and helped stop a potentially dangerous situation or just helped reinforce the rules. We all know we can’t be everywhere every minute and that extra set of eyes can be necessary on occasion. I’m not talking about the parents with their nose in a magazine or chatting with the other lazy parents, I mean the ones who are watching one child and then in a split second before they can turn back, the other kiddo has ventured out of their direct line of sight. Then there are those numbnuts like #40 who don’t care and live their “boys will be boys” life with no regard to the safety of others. I’m surprised no one has mentioned it but y’all know if someone treated her one of her heathens like that, she would go off on somebody like a spider monkey. Amazing how boys can be boys except when it comes to theirs. Lordy I’m getting so worked up ~ I better end this now before I go find a Chuck E Cheese on my lunch hour and teach a manners class!
I’m a new follower, largely because of this post! I found myself nodding in agreement with almost every sentence … from your husband’s reaction (same as mine would) to your thoughts about the other kids/parents. There is a time and a place to be a motherbitch, and this was definitely the right one!
LOL…I guess I dont have that instinct. LOL. You know what my kids do though…they will protect a sibling to the death!!!
We keep a sharp eye on our kids and they LOVE to obey the rules in public. Too bad they dont at home. LOL
We were at Chuck E cheeses the other day and there was this little boy just aimlessly walking around…and by walking I mean climbing on every thing and generally getting in the way of everybody and playing everyone’s games. WOW. I wonder where his parents were?
Ooo, that makes my blood boil! I love this post, I have so been there! Motherbitches are just good mommies doing their job! I love that you owned it and took control. Well done sister friend!
Motherbitches unite! You are a great momma. You go girl!!
I LOVED this! It’s so ironic because I reeeaalllly wanted to say something to a parent about her children throwing sand on each other and anyone within a 10ft radius (including my 3 year old) but she was entirely too far away and oblivious to hear me. When her daughter towered over mine and started yelling at her I drew the line and we left. Yikes. The anger that arose…oh boy!
I think I had the exact same experience as you did except for the location. I was at the playground yesterday with my son and all the parents, except for me were standing in a circle talking. I felt like I was watching everybody elses kids. Needless to say my son who is 23MO was pushed down the slide by a 4 year old. You could say I went Motherbitch. And you could also say I won’t be invited to join the “circle” any time soon. Though, I would like to add one rule to all these playgrounds and exhibits. For some reason they refuse to include the rule “Please do not let your child play on this item if you cannot control the snot running out of their nose.”