Ok, everyone. I have a confession to make. It’s not something that’s easy for me to admit, but I’m gonna have to go ahead and put it out there if I want to stay true to who I am and hopefully maintain my sanity. Here goes nothing…
“My name is Mary, and I genuinely fear and distrust Legos. They have completely taken over my son, my house, and my life, and I just can’t seem to manage to dig out from under them. Every time that I think I might have things a bit under control, those damn Legos emerge and prove once again that they are the boss of me. And I’m thinking that maybe I should just wave the white flag and surrender because I don’t think that I have a chance in hell of winning this battle. I’m just not strong enough.”
I have a new little theory that I’d like to share with you that has been born out of my frustration with Legos. I am almost 100% convinced that the makers of Legos are secretly working with alcohol manufacturers in order to boost revenue. I mean, the two totally go hand in hand. And no, I’m not exaggerating in the least, and yes, I’m being totally serious here. I used to have a nice area rug in my family room, but now the floor looks something like this:
What the heck?
Just in case I haven’t proven my theory to you quite yet, here are a few more arguments that will hopefully swing the vote in my favor. I don’t want a hung jury here.
1. The Pain Factor – On more than one occasion, I have walked into my family room to say something to my son only to wind up yelling expletives at the top of my lungs after the bottom of my foot has been nearly punctured after unknowingly stepping on the infamous Lego mound. And every time this happens I feel like I need a shot of whiskey to numb the throbbing, and also to calm my nerves due to the fact that I am well aware that I’ve just said the “F” word very loudly in front of my 4 year old and I know that he’ll choose to repeat it at the most inopportune time.
2. The Aggravation Factor – My son loves to build all kinds of “vehicles” out of Legos. And every time he gets whatever vehicle he’s making almost completely put together, one of those freakin’ pieces snaps off, and then when he tries to snap it back into place, his entire creation breaks apart. And then he gets really frustrated and screams at the top of his lungs, and then that makes ME extremely frustrated FOR him, and then I just really feel like I need a glass of wine or seven.
3. The Time Factor – Every time that my son gets a new set of Legos, there is some sort of perfect picture on the outside of the box of whatever the contents inside are supposed to build. And the age range on that box may say 4 to 7, but the conspirators over at Lego know very well that my 4 year old is not going to be able to follow the little pamphlet of instructions included in the box in order to build the seaplane, tractor, or whatever the hell else is pictured on the front. They are also tuned into the fact that my 4 year old will fully expect me or my husband to put the entire thing together. And they are also fully aware that this will piss us off to no end because the damn thing takes FOREVER to build and sometimes it is virtually impossible to identify the pieces that are pictured on the instructions. And then when one of us can’t manage to put it together, we call in the other party for assistance, and then we wind up fighting over which piece goes where, etc., and then by the time one of us figures it out and does manage to put the vehicle together, our son has completely lost interest and has moved on to something else. And then we wind up needing a really stiff martini to get out of our respective funks.
See what I mean? It’s all a conspiracy.
What the heck?
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My kids aren’t really in to legos. They are more in to transformers, cars, and building with blocks. BTW your feature is up on my blog.
I could relate to everything you said here….although our lego collection is pretty small at this point. Great post.
I used to love Legos when I was little, but now I’m starting to see the darker side of them. Granted we’re only in Duplo mode right now, but those things hurt like a mother when you accidentally roll over onto one while swinging a 20-pound toddler over your head.
Both my husband and my oldest daughter (now 14) love their Legos. They are convinced you can never have enough. Fortunately, now that only the “big kids” use them, they are usually on a table now. Just wait until your son gets into building the complicated buildings and planes and stuff…then you will need shelf space to display the creations, because the legos can never be taken apart and used again. It beats stepping on them, but “Lego sculptures” isn’t the way I had intended to decorate my house.
Legos are the devil I tell ya!! I have banned additional purchases of legos in my house. Yes, my son loves them…but they are such a freaking PITA that I don’t want them ANYWHERE. Until he’s old enough to do it all himself, we’re done with Legos.
WordPress isn’t letting me comment today. It’s calling my comment a duplicate. WHAT THE HECK?!?!
Legos are the devil I tell ya!! I have banned additional purchases of legos in my house. Yes, my son loves them…but they are such a freaking PITA that I don’t want them ANYWHERE. Until he’s old enough to do it all himself, we’re done with Legos.
I totally back you up this conspiracy! With some of those sets I can’t even figure out the directions, let alone one of my kids.
And the pieces never seem to stay put away. I’ve been on my hands and knees making sure a piece didn’t end up under the couch. Just when I think it’s all clear, my knee lands smack dab on top of a Lego piece. What the heck?!?
I hear ya! I have officially moved Christopher’s building blocks (of any sort) to his bedroom. They have been banned from the downstairs.
My son is 4 and just now getting into smaller legos, I actually saved legos that I had as a kid and gave them to him. When I pulled them out my husband was like..”You are telling me that we have been carrying these around with us for years just so you could ‘hope’ one of our children would be into legos”! I understand the pain factor..those little suckers HURT! But, at the moment I feel like I am drowning in police tickets…every time my son thinks me, my husband, his little brother or even the dog does something wrong he is writing us a ticket. If it’s not one thing it’s another..right. Check me out at http://www.oboyorganic.blogspot.com
Hilarious!! I with you on this. Lego and Alcohol manufacturers are definitely in cohorts!!!
Boycott legos! But no, that would cause chaos in the household, right? I hate the way those little buggers always seem to find the most vulnerable part of your foot…
Holy legos! I actually don’t give my son quite that many – a small bucket and that’s enough for me – for the many reasons you stated!
And yet through it all, we keep buying those darned legos. What the heck!
Lol!
you forgot to say there are never enough legos to build the monstrosity that you’d like to build, therefore leading to the inevitable purchase of even more… (we have the big ones and they are already proving to be a pain in the Ass)
I loved your post on legos! We have them all over too! I keep trying to find a way to organize. But my son tells me you have to dump them out to find the things you need! Crazy! Love your blog!
I’m with ya!! Factor in the noise as the kids go digging & digging & digging through the boxes of legos…yup, bring on the wine!
With me it is Transformers. Uhhh I need a glass of wine with that! I am always finding pieces of Transformers everywhere. One night I got into bed and there was Bumble Bee under my blankets.
did i happen to tell you that my son got a 5000 YES, FIVE THOUSAND piece lego set for his birthday? Obviously those people dont like me too much….
Sorry I’m a little late today! Great post! I so understand the dangers of legos. They seriously should come with thick-soled slippers for the entire family and a complimentary bottle of Captain Morgan. Heck, even boxed wine would suffice!
I think you might be completely on to something!! I’m hoping that my daughter doesn’t go all Lego nuts on me. My nephew is sort of into them and I’ve definitely had some foot puncture wounds and it’s not pretty nor are the words that come flying out of my mouth!!
I f-ing HATE legos!!!! My kids aren’t even 2 yet, so we’re still “lucky” enough to have the bigger ones. My husband loves them…to death! This may be the end of our marriage!!!
Oh my goodness! This made me laugh so hard. My son only has those Fisher Price Lego things and those suck to step on. I can’t wait for those itty bitty Legos. My 7 year old twin nephews have a ton of Legos and it is just so much fun to find them all over the place. My mom said when we were little if we didn’t put them away properly she’d just suck them up with the vacuum and throw them out…nice, huh?! Is it too early to ban Legos from my house?
Legos make me want to punch myself in the neck. Seriously. When I step on them, I end up getting so pissed, I chuck them across the room in an ugly effort to hopefully shatter said Lego piece. It never works, but I feel better and the looks on the faces of my husband and son show me they know I mean business (and they are very afraid). I get the theory about Legos and booze companies being in cahoots. THEY SO ARE!!! So I guess instead of buying more Legos, I’ll just buy more booze and then we’ll all be happy. Oh wait, I can’t drink…I’m pregnant! Yep, that’s right. Pregnant over here
My house generally looks like a toy has totally exploded in it…but we did just get our first set of Lego’s for Peanut’s birthday. I know what is to come…and your image actually makes me shudder, just a tad!
I am 1,000% sure that Lego’s is in cahoots with alcohol manufactures! lol I have a 7 year old lego fa-reak! So I totally feel your pain.
I have a few years of reprieve from the impending doom of the Lego. The little man is only one and a half, but I have to tell you, reading all these stories has made me afraid, very afraid! You have inspired me to go on a toy rampage today. I will be linking to this post tomorrow!!
I too am a hater of all things Lego. Thankfully we don’t have any of the teeny tiny ones because if we did Noah would surely eat one and choke on it. But still, I feel the hate and am totally in agreement with it!
Oh my goodness, I so understand where you are coming from. I loathe legos but the kids love them
Legos are from the devil. Truly evil. Do NOT let him get into K’nex.
I’m actually waiting in agony for my kids to get to the Lego phase! My son is old enough but my daughter keeps trying to eat them and so we must wait. I guess I was infected with the Lego bug as a kid and I’ve never been cured.
All those little pieces…hundreds and hundreds of pieces posing a choking hazard to my youngest…I am getting a headache just thinking about it…honey, a glass of wine, please.
Holy crap. Toys. They are my arch enemy. We haven’t even gotten into the Lego stage here and I cuss out enough Little People and Barbies…lol!
I’m thinking for every new toy that my girls get I get a bottle of wine to chill…to help soothe the pain from stepping on the toys and calm my attitude down from getting screamed at by a two year old.
Hehe! xoxo
We just do the Duplo legos around here, the real evil is in the garage in a gigantic bin that my husband’s boss gave us since his son is now a teenager. We are talking hundreds of Legos, a small fortune! They were out for a day when I realized that I would be the one to make my daughter spit them out and I would be the one who would be doing most of the clean up-hence their home in the rafters! Have to laugh about the other ladies posting about Transformers! Between those and Legos, my house is consumed!
omg that photo SCARES me because it looks like my loungeroom floor. We have lego here, we have boy lego and pretty pink girl lego, and I am afraid they will get all mixed up. I step on lego too, find lego in my underwear drawer and in the bathroom…yes, it’s taken over our lives….