During my frantic attempt to find a short-sleeved top and a pair of jeans to throw on yesterday before taking my son to preschool, I found myself uttering a phrase that is just all too familiar in my daily dressing ritual. It went something like this:
“I’VE HAD IT!!! I CAN’T FIND A DAMN THING!!”
You see, I somehow manage to be moderately organized in other aspects of my life, but my master bedroom closet is just a complete other story. To put it bluntly, it’s freakin’ hell in there. Seriously, if you walked into my closet right now, you would think that I was either the biggest pack rat on the face of the earth or suffering from a huge case of “I Just Don’t Give a Damn!”
I typically clean that closet out about once or twice a year, and it looks good for a couple of months, but after that I just start to lose interest in the whole “hangers equally spaced apart” thing and before I know it I’ve completely lost control again. Out of pure and simple desperation, I decided to finally pry myself off Twitter during my son’s last hour at preschool and ventured upstairs to try and put some sort of a dent into the bottomless black hole.
And of course, I started by taking my jeans off, throwing them on the bed, and trying on each and every single pair of pants hanging in the closet to see what fit, and what most definitely didn’t. And the weirdest part of the whole thing was that the ones that I expected to slip right on wouldn’t go past my hips, and the ones that I thought I didn’t have a chance in hell of squeezing myself into buttoned up without a hitch. And then I stood there in total confusion and tried to decide whether I was happy to have found a few old pieces of my wardrobe that I could now showcase as brand new or whether I wanted to break down and cry because I knew that I was going to have to part with those “capris that just don’t fit anymore but are so totally cute that it breaks my heart to give them up because they are designer and I got them on sale and at one point they made my ass look really good.”
But then I remembered my Mom Sexy vow that I would no longer let the sizes on the labels of my clothes control me anymore, and I decided that I am a woman of my word and that my pledge was also going to have to apply to those items in my closet that I’ve had since my pre-baby days that I keep “just in case they fit again someday”, kind of like those leftover cargo shorts I clung to like glue from my honeymoon. It felt SO good to get rid of those shorts, not only because trying to button them literally sucked the breath out of me, but because it symbolized me starting a fresh chapter in my life…my MOM SEXY chapter.
This is the chapter where I finally embrace each and every curve on my body as a sign that I am a happy, healthy, and strong woman. This is the chapter where I stop obsessing over the size of my shape and start paying attention to the quality of my life experiences. This is the chapter where I am finally feeling healthy and have a great workout regime and I feel like I am really taking care of my body inside and out. And this is the chapter where I am implementing a new mantra for myself:
“IF IT MAKES YOU POUT, THROW IT OUT!!”
Say it with me again ladies!! “IF IT MAKES YOU POUT, THROW IT OUT!!”
And I’m not just talking about tossing the scales and the jeans you’ve had since you were 19 that you just can’t seem to part with. I’m talking about throwing out EVERYTHING in your head that is somehow bringing you down and making you feel like less of woman. Because no matter how hard we try and fight it, as women, and in particular as mothers, we ALL have those areas of our lives that make us pout and doubt our self worth. And it turns into this vicious cycle of pout and doubt, pout and doubt, etc.
I am not ashamed to admit that I pout about things sometimes that I really just have no business pouting about. I pout about my cellulite. I pout about my lack of boobage. I pout about my body not looking as good as the woman next to me at Zumba. I pout about the fine lines around my eyes and mouth. And then all that pouting makes me doubt myself. I doubt myself as a woman. I doubt myself as a wife. I doubt myself as a mother. Hell, I even doubt myself as a blogger. And you know what?? I’M OVER IT. It started with the simple act of throwing out a few old pairs of pants, and now I’m going to throw out my insecurities with them. Because the truth is that I am the ONLY person who can stop myself from feeling like the Mom Sexy woman that I am.
A few years ago, when I was pregnant with my son, I attended a woman’s empowerment seminar with Dr. Kimberly Ventus-Darks. She kept repeating a phrase which I still keep in the back of my mind each and every day.
“Everything is mind over matter, and if you don’t mind, then it DOESN’T MATTER.”
Seriously, HOW TRUE IS THAT? If I don’t mind that those pants don’t fit me, then it doesn’t matter that those pants don’t fit me. And if it doesn’t matter that those pants don’t fit me, then I won’t have to waste my time doubting my hotness for one freakin’ second. And if I get rid of the pants, then it’s like they never existed anyway, so there’s no potential for a relapse.
So, with Dr. Ventus Dark’s words in mind, I’m once again belting my new mantra out loud:
“IF IT MAKES YOU POUT, THROW IT OUT!!”
If I let those old skinny jeans, or my cottage cheese ass, or my crows feet, or any of my insecurities and fears get me down, then I’m never going to feel the level of sexy and beautiful that I SO deserve.
And I’m challenging all of you to do the same. In celebration of Mother’s Day, I’m asking all of you to tell me what makes you pout, and then pledge to THROW IT OUT!!
Because YOU ARE MOM SEXY. YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. And YOU ARE WORTH IT!
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What if the only clothes you have that fit at all make you pout? Then do you get to go shopping?
What a great gift to give all us mommas out here! Mother’s Day is a great kick off time to make us feel good about ourselves. We are waaay too hard on ourselves as it is, and this makes for a great cheerleading cheer. Thank you! And Happy Mother’s Day to YOU, too! : )
Love it!!!
I have the trouble that I tend to get rid of too much stuff then I have a bare closet (and I hate shopping – so don’t usually replace too much!)
So I have nothing to wear (except my work scrubs – and that is nowhere near MOMSEXY!)
Love it! No more pouting for me either and you’ve inspired me to clean all the crap out of both my closet and my head.
Have a Very Happy Mom Sexy Mother’s Day!
What great sayings to go by! One of my rules – if you haven’t worn it in over a yer pitch it, regardless of size. With the exception of a few dressier things that I rarely wear but like to keep for when I do get dressed up.
LOL @ blueviolet’s comment!
Love this. I got rid of a lot of things in my closet last year. Things I knew would never fit again. No point in all that clutter!
Great post. LOL at blue violets post. She cracks me up…but only because it’s so true. LOL
I went through my closet shortly after Christmas, unfortunately, I realized that I left a lot of stuff in it that I shouldn’t have. Stuff that “fits”, but that doesn’t make me feel good when I wear it. So why keep it??
Ugh. I don’t even want to think about my closet! Maybe throw it ALL out, and start over? That works too, right?!
Awesome… As a mother of two young children myself, the days of doubt typically appear when the kids are driving me crazy. Sometimes, I don’t feel like I’m the best mother, but at the end of the day (with a glass of wine in my hand) I realize that just being the best mom I can be is all they’re asking for, and I should just give myself a break. Next time though, I’ll use your mantra and throw out those nasty, self-defeating thoughts!
This was a refreshingly funny post with a very profound message. Thank-you!!
OMG are you in my head? Haha every week you post something that i can totally relate to. My hubby has been on me for weeks now to clean out my dresser and my closet.. I have mounds of clothes that I CANT wear anymore but wont get rid of them.. well until today Im bout to get my lazy butt off the internet and go clean out my closet and dressers
I keep my hands on things that I one day hope to fit into again…haha! I have things from my freshman year of high school that are just too cute…and 5 sizes too small! It makes me pout…so it’s going out! Have a great day and a great mother’s day
Stopping by from SITs
Hell yeah! I like how you roll and how you challenge me to love my own rolls! Yesterday I was standing in my closet trying stuff on I love that doesn’t fit. I was frustrated. I stood in front of the mirror and verbally abused this self I have grown to be. I cried on my husband’s shoulder who stood there perplexed as he kept repeating, “I think you’re beautiful.” But did I listen? No. Because I don’t think I am. When I look in the mirror I focus on the crap, not the good stuff. But you know what? I’m done. Maybe I can’t fit in my super cute jeans. Maybe I can’t eat like I did when I was 15. What I can do is change my own perception and I’m ready. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted from years and years of berating myself for my imperfections. Your blog is helping me get to where I want to be. Thank you. We are Mom Sexy. *I* am Mom Sexy. That’s just how I roll now!
Great post, Mary! You’ve inspired me to perform a much-needed purging on my closet this weekend!
Love it! I’m going to try and keep that motto in my head: If it makes you pout, throw it out!
Good for you! I wish I was as strong as you. I have jeans in my closet that I don’t think my hips after childbirth will EVER fit into again. I guess we always hope for a skinner self when we should really be embracing who we are and who we have become. I really need to purge my closet!
I’m thinking exactly the same as BlueViolet…..everything I can squeeze my ass into makes me pout
Time for some changes I think!!!
Amen! GREAT POST! You are right on the money with how all of this is so tighed into our self-esteem! I want every woman I know to read this post!
This is such a great post! And so so true! What a great mantra, and one that we all need to adopt. I may need to keep this in mind as I am working out and trying not to doubt myself so much!
Great post and great mantra – I am going to remember that one and quote it to myself daily!
I think if I did that, I would have only a shirt and a pair of pants left. and maybe a maternity shirt too…
I love your new mantra! I would certainly have lots more room in my closet if I did that. Then again, I would feel the need to go shopping.
I LOVE IT!! Such good advice to live by on a daily basis that can be applied to pretty much everything!
Like some said above….I must go shopping now!!!
I kept hearing the theme song from “Rocky” while I was reading this post. Great read, very motivated to get in there and tackle my closet. I honestly think I have clothes in there from when I was 15.
After we get through the boys’ birthday party next weekend, I’ll be hitting the closet! Awesome post!
This is great and so true. First, I don’t own a scale…I’d either be obsessive (i.e. weighing myself after I pee) or depressed all the time…neither of which are good for my family. Second, I had to part with several Banana Republic “work” clothes a little while back…I shouldn’t say “had to.” Someone’s house burned down and they had NOTHING, so it was the perfect time to take my beautiful clothes and give them to someone who needed them more (and could probably fit into them). I love the motto!!!!
You go, girl!!!
Thanks for visiting my blog. I love this post! I love the mantra. And coincidentally I just did my own closet clean-out recently. But had no similar life revelations. Thanks for the idea:)
Great post! I have a lot of things in my life I need to clear out right now for this very reason. Today is a perfect day to get started!
Visiting from SITS, happy sits saturday sharefest.
I needed this today. Thanks!
Happy SITS Saturday Sharefest!
As always, Well Said. You’re quite inspirational. I’m not there yet, but I hope to be soon!
OMG, this is fantastic. You write so well, and your words are just full of honesty and humor. Not always the easiest balance to strike.
I’ve been trying to get my head in the place where yours is for years now. I’m off to explore the rest of your blog (have GOT to find out what the Mom Sexy Vow is) in the hopes of finding even more inspiration.
Oh, and as for what makes me pout: the piles of jeans I’m saving for “when I lose weight,” the formal dresses from fourteen years ago that I hate to throw out because they were expensive and carry great memories, but will never fit me again because carrying my twins literally expanded my ribcage.
Happy Saturday Sharefest! So glad to have found your site.
You are so right – throw it out – (or in my case – give it to goodwill!). Having clothes that fit correctly, and eating right and exercising (I forget how good it feels to move!!) are big steps that get you to feeling that good! And – coincidentally – can get into smaller clothes! A wonder how all that works out!
You’re an inspiration to us all! hehe! I wanna throw it all out, now and go on a whirlwind shopping spree! Hey, can somebody report me to Clinton & Stacy of “What Not To Wear”??? I’d love a $5000 visa and a trip to NY!
OMG I always have fits when getting dressed. Mostly because I NEVER by myself clothes so I have nothing to wear. Love how you rock the mom sexy!
I love this!! You speak to me. I pout about my non-boobage and celluite all the time. Time for me to get over it!
“If it makes you pout, throw it out!” is my new motto!
So glad I found this site.
Love it!
Embrace. Then throw out!!!!
I could’ve sworn I’d commented on this. I must be brain dead. Anyway, I am in love w/ your new mantra and am adopting it. I am throwing a shit ton of stuff out (not just pants, scale, etc.)!!!
Thank You for my new mantra!!! It’s perfect! I came across you through A Momma Stork knows and am now following. stop by anytime at novicemommie.blogspot.com I am pretty new to the blogging world but i love it and you are now one of my faves.
I think I shall frame that and hang it above my closet…I have 4 closets and they all need to be cleaned out with that motto in mind.
what a great motto!