Good morning everyone! Please bear with me…I returned from my girls’ weekend in TN late last night and I’ve only had two cups of coffee so far. And two just ain’t gonna cut it today. Because Mama really can’t party like she used to. But I’m still one hell of a good hang if I do say so myself.
I spent the last two days down in Knoxville visiting my best friend and former roommate from my University of Tennessee days. She and I were quite the tag team back then. And I won’t elaborate too much on the kind of antics that we used to partake in, but I will admit that beer funnels were involved on more than one occasion. Oh yeah…you guessed it. We were the SUPER classy chicks on campus.
And even though our days of band parties on frat row and scoring free beer from the local deli on campus are long gone, we still manage to have the time of our lives every time we get together. We just happen to have a side kick with us now, disguised as her adorable 9-month old daughter.
One of our other best buds from college also joined us this weekend, and she and I took on the babysitting duties on Saturday evening so that our other partner in crime could indulge in the luxury of taking a shower and blow-drying her hair without having to lug the pack-and-play into her bathroom.
And while we were watching the munchkin, she started making some cute little grunting noises. I immediately assumed that she had “done her business”, so I did what any mother would do in order to verify that a “Code Brown” had occurred. I picked her up in front of me and took a huge whiff of her tiny little tush. And my other friend looked a little bit horrified when I did it. But she’ll be a butt sniffer too someday. She just doesn’t know it yet.
As a mom, I have sniffed my own child’s ass in order to confirm poopage more times than I can even dream of counting. And it may sound kind of gross to people who don’t have kids, so let me put it into perspective:
It’s a hell of a lot better than sticking your finger into the side of the diaper and having it come out covered in fudge. Not that I ever tried that method.
I always knew that I loved my friend, but I was really reminded of just how close we are when I stuck my nose right up to HER baby’s butt. I didn’t even think twice. And it didn’t even gross me out in the slightest. Because even though I’ve only seen that baby two times since my friend gave birth to her, I love her like she was my own. Because she is a part of my friend, and my friend is a part of me. And she would totally sniff my son’s ass too.
The Mommyologist and BFF
Double Trouble
We had a great laugh about the whole ass-sniff scenario, and I started telling her about another close friend of mine up here in CT who has two kids. There was a point about a year and a half ago when her kids and mine were all still in diapers. And we would smell something in the room, declare that someone had pooped, and then she and I would start picking up kids, regardless of whether they belonged to us or not, and would sniff their butts to see who had the steamer.
There’s no need for Hallmark cards or any of that sentimental shit when you are a mom. I’ve discovered the true sign of a lifelong friendship. It’s reciprocal butt sniffing.
Ok, it’s time for that 3rd cup of coffee now.
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There’s something just a little bit beautiful and touching about sniffing a friend’s baby’s butt. Sadly, as someone with no kids I just can’t see it.
I absolutely love this! My BFF has twin girls, that are a year older than my little boy. And after spending the last two weekends with her (we live 6 hours apart) there was more butt sniffing going on than I ever dreamed of! It’s great to love your best friend’s children like they are your own:) Happy Monday!
what i never thought i would do, i did and sniffed friend’s kid’s butts too…wow that was a sentence. unfortunately i have also had to change said children’s diapers too. i’d rather not, only your own kid’s shit doesn’t stink…lol
Ohhh yes! The butt sniff of all children in the room–been there done it and totally NOT grossed out!
And THAT is why even though old friends who are childless are still people to treasure, almost nothing can approximate the bonds formed between other mothers. I can’t wait for my childless BFF to give birth to her twin girls in the fall. She’s given me the same horrified “you-didn’t-just-do-what-I-think-you-did” look when I’ve pulled a butt-sniff or a snot grab with my bare hands in front of her more times than I can count. It’s hard to hold in the “just you wait” comments, but it will be even harder to hold back the “I told you so”s
So much changes when your a mom! Before Abby, I would have never thought of sniffing a kid’s butt and probably would have looked just as horrified if I saw someone else do it. But now, I don’t even think about it and it doesn’t gross me out at all. LOL… you definitely change when you become a mom!
You know, I never thought of the “butt sniff” as something strange or gross or anything…I just thought it was part of that “get over it and do it” instinct that moms get when they have kids. Why wouldn’t I sniff a heinie? There’s poop somewhere, and it’s got to be cleaned….
Poop certainly tops the list, but think of all the other things we do as mothers that are “gross” that we don’t think about. I’ve used my hand, the edge of my shirt, or my jacket to scoop up sudden spit-up. I’ve had a child throw up all over me, and `I took care of cleaning up *her* first before starting on me. And breastfeeding…it may be “natural,” but having a kid hanging on my breast and hoping she doesn’t take a bite?
People without kids just don’t understand that, once you become a mom, certain “inhibitions” or things that seem strange don’t bother you anymore.
Haha I have totally done that before. I even changed my friends’ kids’ butts…I don’t mind but I have to tell you that I gag a little more when its another child and I smell their poo. I mean you get accustomed to your own child’s smell {gross I know} but here is something about another child’s poo that makes me gag a bit…haha
LOL!!
I <3 it! Yep I did the butt-sniffin' thing too when my kids were in diapers. I definitely think that is way better than sticking the finger in the diaper. EWWW! LOL
I am so glad you had a blast with your friends! I really need that as well. I am hoping that I will get my chance next year!
Butt-sniffing is a great sign of a true friendship. I always do that too! Ha! Love that you went back to your college stomping grounds for a Girl’s Weekend! By the way, I went to Vanderbilt. Aren’t we supposed to not like each other? Yeah, right….that is so NOT happening! Glad you had a great trip!! And I too, am off to get more coffee!!
My husband always looks at me like I’m crazy whenever I do the “lift ‘n sniff” with our daughter … but I’m all about being prepared. Because I want to know what kind of work I’m going in for before I open that diaper. I actually got accustomed to this sort of behavior about 14 years ago, when my niece was born. Now, I’m happy to say, my sister doesn’t mind returning the favor
this is so very true!!! Hope you had a great girls vacay, and I also hope you recover fairly quickly. It’s tough taking care of the kiddos when your not at the top of your game.
Haha! I’ve been there before! Working in day care played a role in sniffing other kid’s butts, too.
I hope you had a great trip. It sounds like you did. Now go drink more coffee!
This post made me remember a 2nd birthday party for one of my nieces. All the cousins were close in age, and there were lots of friends’ and neighbors’ toddlers there, too. One parent caught a whiff of something and grabbed the nearest diapered butt to sniff. Without a break in the conversation every parent just grabbed whichever butt was closer, lifted, and sniffed. None of us thought anything about it until we noticed the lone non-parent in the group (my hubby’s youngest brother). He was standing slack-jawed in the corner staring around like we’d all suddenly grown two heads – hilarious! Of course now he’s also a veteran butt-sniffer!
The things that we do as moms! And don’t even think twice about.
Glad that you got to have a fun weekend with your friends!
It doesn’t even phase me anymore. I think I would sniff any butt that I thought could need changed. God, what has happened to me?!
omg thats just too funny but you are so right its much better to sniff butts than to get a finger full of diaper surprise hahahaha
I am totally a brown nosing butt sniffer. There is no shame in motherhood.
just a lot of poop.
kiran
HAHA, too funny and so true! What mom doesn’t butt sniff?! It’s all the same no matter who’s it is…it all stinks!
I totally laughed my ass off with this one. I never thought in a million years I would be sniffing anyone’s butt and then you have a child. It also takes just one time to fail the finger test to convert to a bonafide ass sniffer.
Lol. Been there, done that for sure. Btw, great pics from your trip.
Hilarious! I never understood the sniffing before I had my 9 month old. Now I celebrate poop.
I’ll try not to hold the fact that you went to Tennessee against you. Go Gators!
Girl you are so funny! We used to say, “Oh she did the boomers!” Glad to hear you had a fun weekend! Looks like a good time.
I just assumed everyone did the butt sniff. I still do it when my friends bring their kiddos over, LOL! fortunately I don’t have to sniff my own kids anymore.
Sounds like a fun weekend and I bet your friend enjoyed her shower and time with her BFFs!
LOVE it!! And is there any other way that’s more telling than that?!
ps-dying laughing over the “code brown” bwahaha!
I can totally relate to this post!! It made me laugh a lot!! I’m totally a butt sniffing mom!!!
I actually wrote a post kind of similar to this a while back. I have done it, will do it, and appreciate it when someone else does it to my kid. You’ve hit the nail on the head – the mark of a true friend!
I Love it! Sounds like you had a great weekend with old friends! I just nominated your blog on parents pick! Good Luck!
Yes! Friends do smell friends kids’ butts. Without hesitation. Job one: isolate the poop and get it changed!
So glad you had a fun weekend. Nothing like a girls’ weekend to set the soul right.
You know, I never even really thought about that in this light. Love your way of thinking on this!
As long as the size of the person with the butt being sniffed is less than say 3 feet or so, you’re good. Carry on.
True friendship lies in the butt sniff. Or something like that…
hahaha love it.
My favorite song to sing when sniffing butts was:
“I ain’t saying you a butt sniffer but you ain’t hanging with no clean diapers” hahhaah my take on Kanye’s gold digger song.
Hope all is well I have been out of the loop for a couple weeks revamping my site. Just did my first vlog!
LOL – Isn’t that true… she will be a butt sniffer one day!!!
What we do as moms!!! Glad you had an awesome weekend!
LOL. That is true friendship. I remember the first time I sniffed my sons butt in front of a non-parent. They looked at me horrified as well. Seriously, why cant they see thats the best way? LOL. Stopping by from Lady bloggers
Too funny! Glad you had a great weekend.
Truer words have never been written! My sister’s and my brother all have babies (our babies are all born within 9 months of each other), and I have two friends with babies also the same age. So let me just say I sniff a lot of baby butts
Ah yes… I have sniffed more butts than the ones attached to my own sons. BTW – my best friend lives in Knoxville! She went to grad school there and stayed.
I LOVE the look on not-moms-yet faces when already mom do that nasty stuff! This post was SO funny!
Hehehe My hubby and I do the same…doesn’t matter where, when, what….it’s the quickest, cleanest, most efficient way to detect crap on a toddler…(when you can get them to hold still for 2 seconds, that is!) and we too, call it a code brown. lol. Beats not knowing and having a massive blowout!
Hey, I’m a dad and I sniff ass with the best of em. Following along, thought I already was? Whoops…daddy brain I guess.
That was hilarious and I’ve discovered that I can also tell if one of the boys has pooped from upstairs, I’ll yell down the stairs…”hey John, did G or J poop because I smell it???”
*sniffing butts is the new friendship*
Loved the story and the fact that you had such a good time with your BFF.
You crack me up, with humor and relief. I thought you were going to say that you and your friend sniffed each others butt for some reason.
A child’s butt, I totally get that. Like you say much better than some other methods of checking.
Ahhh yes, the butt sniff = love! Too funny!
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Hahaha, my husband thinks the butt sniffing is gross. I just do it without thinking, my daughter, my niece, my friend’s son. If I smell le poo, my nose is all up in that butt. Maybe it’s a mom thing. I think a card for one of those fake hallmark cards needs to be created, maybe for new mom’s or something.
OMG I laughed so hard I CRIED. Sniffing little babies butts….
Nice read, I just passed this onto a colleague who was doing some research on that. And he actually bought me lunch as I found it for him smile Therefore let me rephrase that: Thanks for lunch!