Good morning everyone! Please bear with me…I returned from my girls’ weekend in TN late last night and I’ve only had two cups of coffee so far. And two just ain’t gonna cut it today. Because Mama really can’t party like she used to. But I’m still one hell of a good hang if I do say so myself.
I spent the last two days down in Knoxville visiting my best friend and former roommate from my University of Tennessee days. She and I were quite the tag team back then. And I won’t elaborate too much on the kind of antics that we used to partake in, but I will admit that beer funnels were involved on more than one occasion. Oh yeah…you guessed it. We were the SUPER classy chicks on campus.
And even though our days of band parties on frat row and scoring free beer from the local deli on campus are long gone, we still manage to have the time of our lives every time we get together. We just happen to have a side kick with us now, disguised as her adorable 9-month old daughter.
One of our other best buds from college also joined us this weekend, and she and I took on the babysitting duties on Saturday evening so that our other partner in crime could indulge in the luxury of taking a shower and blow-drying her hair without having to lug the pack-and-play into her bathroom.
And while we were watching the munchkin, she started making some cute little grunting noises. I immediately assumed that she had “done her business”, so I did what any mother would do in order to verify that a “Code Brown” had occurred. I picked her up in front of me and took a huge whiff of her tiny little tush. And my other friend looked a little bit horrified when I did it. But she’ll be a butt sniffer too someday. She just doesn’t know it yet.
As a mom, I have sniffed my own child’s ass in order to confirm poopage more times than I can even dream of counting. And it may sound kind of gross to people who don’t have kids, so let me put it into perspective:
It’s a hell of a lot better than sticking your finger into the side of the diaper and having it come out covered in fudge. Not that I ever tried that method.
I always knew that I loved my friend, but I was really reminded of just how close we are when I stuck my nose right up to HER baby’s butt. I didn’t even think twice. And it didn’t even gross me out in the slightest. Because even though I’ve only seen that baby two times since my friend gave birth to her, I love her like she was my own. Because she is a part of my friend, and my friend is a part of me. And she would totally sniff my son’s ass too.
The Mommyologist and BFF
We had a great laugh about the whole ass-sniff scenario, and I started telling her about another close friend of mine up here in CT who has two kids. There was a point about a year and a half ago when her kids and mine were all still in diapers. And we would smell something in the room, declare that someone had pooped, and then she and I would start picking up kids, regardless of whether they belonged to us or not, and would sniff their butts to see who had the steamer.
There’s no need for Hallmark cards or any of that sentimental shit when you are a mom. I’ve discovered the true sign of a lifelong friendship. It’s reciprocal butt sniffing.
Ok, it’s time for that 3rd cup of coffee now.