Raise Your Hand If You Know What A Blowout Is

I had the pleasure of spending most of the past week in Washington, D.C. with my hubby for his annual International Conference. I actually haven’t been to one of these shin-digs in about two years, and I’m so glad that I decided to come to this one! It was at the Gaylord National Harbor Resort and Convention Center, and it rocked.

The hubster works for a great company, with an awesome group of people. They are so awesome, in fact, that sometimes it feels more like hanging out with friends you’ve known for years than your typical office crowd.  And though I did get a bit tipsy at the piano bar that we went to on the first night I got to D.C., I’m fairly confident that I didn’t do anything to embarrass myself, or my hubby for that matter.

Or at least I haven’t heard any rumors about my behavior being anything less than appropriate.  And no incriminating pictures have surfaced on Facebook.  Yet.

Of course, being that some of us in the group are parents, you know that there was one particular subject of conversation that just HAD to make an entrance at some point.  I mean, it’s seriously just a “must discuss” kind of topic.

And that point came last night, ladies and gentlemen, while we were all dressed up in our finest attire and sitting around our table at the Awards Banquet for the last night of the conference.

And yes, I’m talking about poop, in case you hadn’t caught on yet.

My husband’s boss was looking at his Blackberry and laughing at the funny posts that were coming in from one of their other co-workers wives, who couldn’t make it to D.C. this year.  Of particular interest, she said something along the lines of, “Now I officially know what the definition of a blowout is.”

Yes, she was talking about a diaper.  And yes, she was talking about a diaper FILLED with poop.

Her niece was visiting from out of town, and what started out as an innocent fart turned into the end-all-be-all of diaper explosions. Every parent knows EXACTLY what I’m talking about.

I won’t go into any more detail than to say that in addition to the blowout, she made a reference to beef stew, and a reference to peas.

And then we all had a good laugh about diaper blowouts and dug into our plates of pesto-stuffed chicken and risotto. (Although I refused to eat the chicken because I’m going through a bit of a “fear of consuming chicken in public” phase).

And nobody gagged.

Isn’t hanging out with other parents the best?  I can’t wait for next year’s conference!

*On a side note, I know I’ve been M.I.A. for the past couple of weeks and it feels great to be back!  I had a great vacation with my boys at the Cape, started my new job as a Celebrity Parenting Blogger for Babble.com, learned that there really are some crazy lunatics in this world who have nothing better to do than read celebrity blogs and tell me how much they hate me, decided to turn on comment moderation on this blog for a little damage control, and now I’m on my way home from D.C. and I’m ready to rock and roll.  Stay tuned for an exciting announcement about The Mommyologist coming next week!”


  1. 1

    Umm… “fear of consuming chicken in public”?? Interesting… Lol.

    And while you were talking about blowouts at the dinner table, and come on! who of us hasn’t? I was officially inaugurated into that ever-elite group of parents who walk in and find their child… finger painting. Have fun with that! :)

    I’m glad you had fun at the conference!

  2. 2
    blueviolet says:

    You sound so rejuvenated and alive! I’m glad you’ve been enjoying life outside the computer!!! But welcome back!

  3. 3
    Kristy says:

    Yes, blowouts really…blow. And, you know what’s worse than a diaper blowout??? A pull up blowout. I have recently discovered this. It only gets better. The poop issues. Never. End.

  4. 4

    Ah yes, the blowout! We have all had to change those! Sounds like you have had an amazing summer!!

  5. 5
    Sarah C. says:

    Poop is always the best dinner topic, isn’t it? I always think it’s funny how it becomes completely appropriate when you are around parents. Glad you had a great time in DC. I love that City!

  6. 6
    Krista says:

    Why is it, every conversation eventually turns to poop?!?!?

    I’m glad you were able to get away with your sweetie, we all need to do that.

    As for your new writing job, hurray! I love reading it, but promise to never be mean!

  7. 7
    kim says:

    funny post to read tonight, as jay and i were watching my screensaver slideshow about an hour before i read it. i saw a pic and said, filled with pride as if i were remembering the time my son got accepted into an ivy league school, “remember that? we took that pic like 27 seconds before ben’s first blowout!!” hahahaha
    and can you please explain this fear of eating chicken in public?!

  8. 8
    Theta Mom says:

    When I first read the title, I thought you were talking about the hair salon. :)

    And congrats again on the new job, how exciting! And time away is with the fam is always a good thing.

  9. 9
    Tracie says:

    I know what a blowout is. Once you become a parent, and learn “Parent-Language” there is no turning back, even at a dress up dinner! lol

    Exciting announcement? Fun!

    I want to hear more about your chicken eating fear….is that part of the announcement?

  10. 10

    Oh yes the blow-out story – I know we all have one. And of course they always come when you are not expecting it or inconvenient times! Glad to have you back miss you!

  11. 11
    Sam says:

    What’s even better is that many of the people sitting there laughing at blow outs swore they’d never do it. Ha!

  12. 12
    C.Mom says:

    Gotta love poop! Sounds like you had a great time- and I can’t wait to hear the big news (as if you new gig at Babble wasn’t big enough!). You are a rock star!

  13. 13
    Katina says:

    I totally know what a blow-out is! I thought I was the only mom who called them that! My daughter had rotavirus and talk about a blowout! Those things had sound effects to go along with the poop and the smell…..

  14. 14
    SaucyB says:

    hey, nice to see you back! Glad everything is ok – saw the tweet about crazy people and was a little concerned.
    Like any parent, I am also familiar with the aforementioned blowout. We were on vacation and my little guy came down with a stomach virus. Dear god, every time we changed him we practically had to fumigate the whole house!

  15. 15
    Shell says:

    So funny that talking about poop doesn’t even phase us after we have kids!

  16. 16
    Calgarydaddy says:

    lol… Kyron has only had two…knock on wood!


  17. 17
    Danielle says:

    Wow, I know exactly how you feel. Entering an elegant setting full of sophisticated people and WHAM, a discussion like that, lol.

    I guess the good news is everyone felt comfortable enough to discuss it because you all do feel like family =]

  18. 18
    Kir says:

    LOL…OMG, LOL….

    yep I remember the first blowout and the “shock & Awe” associated with it. I couldn’t believe that something so little, could do…..that. :)

    please don’t be afraid of chicken…;)

  19. 19
    Erin says:

    yes—you know you’re a parent when you can all sit around discussing these things and eat dinner at the same time. Loved your last paragraph—the recap of the last few weeks. Wonder why you have to deal with nutjobs and comment moderation. That bites!

  20. 20
    Stacy says:

    Oh yes, the blowout. I’ve been familiar with those since I babysat as a teenager. It’s funny how those stories can be shared over dinner! :)

  21. 21
    NVT says:

    I’ve learned something new… never knew what a blowout was even though I’ve cleaned several!

  22. 22
    Retrogirl says:

    I can’t stop laughing….I know all too well what a blowout is. Funny how we all automatically call it that—even having never heard another parent utter this word! hehehe!
    Our worst was outside a Famous Daves restaurant…and all over mommy’s shirt, shorts etc…and the worlds greatest daddy cleaning it all up, and running into a store and buying mommy and baby a new outfit so we could recover and continue our fun saturday!

  23. 23

    OH YES!! I finally – after almost 2 years have a great poop story! I thought I was going to spend my entire parenting life standing there with my plate of chicken just nodding my head without REALLY experiencing the wonderful world of the blowout. I NEED to post it ASAP!

    Congrats on the new Job!

  24. 24

    Oh, the “blow out”! I had almost forgotten about that! And, don’t they always have one when you wait to put them in a “fancy” outfit??

    So glad you are back!

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