Yesterday was a really rainy day here in Connecticut. Actually, it’s been a pretty rainy week. And when it rains, kids fill up with energy and reach a certain point where they pretty much explode. And for me and two of my good girlfriends, our four boys (combined) hit that point at about 4:00pm yesterday.
What started as an innocent play date and hopefully some much-needed socialization for us mommies turned into a full on crying and screaming fest on the kids’ part. And then somewhere during that play date, each one of us three women announced that we would be pouring a FAT glass of wine after it was all said and done.
Because moms NEED wine. And here are 10 reasons why:
1. We’ll start with what set us off yesterday…incessant crying and screaming. Why kids don’t realize that getting louder and screaming and crying only makes the moms want to ignore them and go hide in a closet is beyond me. I don’t care who you are and how calm of a mother you claim to be. Crying and screaming is annoying as hell. And we deserve a glass of wine after having to endure it even for five minutes.
2. Wine time usually means adult time. And adult time is pretty freakin’ awesome. The end.
3. I learned soon after my son was born that he wasn’t the only one that needed a pacifier. And vino is my version of a binky. It calms me down. It shuts me up. And it helps me sleep through the night.
4. You know how they tell you if you’re about to lose your temper you should take a deep breath and count to ten? Well, it only takes me about ten seconds to open a bottle of wine, so by the time I’m finished counting, I’ve already got the damn bottle open so I might as well have a glass. It’s a double whammy, and I dig it. And it definitely helps my temper.
5. Boogers, poop, and ass-wiping are part of our job. And we deserve to be rewarded for going above and beyond with our efforts. Nuff said.
6. Going back to the noise factor, we’ve usually had to deal with “whine” all day. And the only way to chill out after dealing with “whine” is to pour a glass of “wine.” It almost makes you wonder where they came up with the name.
7. Sucking back wine stops me from talking for a few seconds and having to say, “No!” “Stop it right now!” “Mommy said don’t touch that!” “Get your finger out of your nose!” “Quit playing with your wiener!” etc. It gives my poor kid a break. (Remember that I said that wine time usually means adult time. There are exceptions to this rule).
8. Having a glass or three of wine before the hubster gets home from work makes the whole June Cleaver thing so much easier. “How was your day, dear?” (Sip, gulp, sip). “Come over here and sit next to me and put your feet up…you’ve had a long day.” (Gulp, gulp, guzzle). “You just relax while I go make dinner!” (Hell, the bottle is in the kitchen, so I can refill a couple times and he won’t even notice).
9. Wine gives me something to look forward to when I’ve had “one of those days.” Actually, it gives me something to look forward to no matter what kind of day I’ve had. And yes, I know that it sounds a bit pathetic and desperate that I look forward to my evening vino ritual so much, but I don’t give a shit.
10. Honestly, do I really even need to come up with a valid 10th reason for why moms need wine? I love it, and I want it, and it’s almost 5 o’clock right now and I should really be getting ready for wine time instead of typing this blog post. That’s reason enough.