I’m doing something a little out of character for me today…I’m hopping on the “Pour Your Heart Out” bandwagon with my bloggy sis Shell over at Things I Can’t Say. I’m typically not a “Pour Your Heart Out” kind of girl, because I try and stick with the whole funny thing, but I feel that there are some things that just need to be said. I promise to bring back the laughs with my next post!
“Blogging Means Never Having To Say You’re Sorry”
Lately, I’ve noticed a trend in the blogosphere, and it just doesn’t sit well in my gut. Everybody’s doing it, and every time I see another blogger doing it, I sit there and think to myself:
“She really shouldn’t have to do that.”
I’m talking about bloggers apologizing for “not being able to visit other blogs as much,”, or “not being around very often these days,” or “not having enough time to return comments and emails, etc.”
Basically, I’m talking about bloggers saying they are sorry for spending time off the computer and WITH THEIR FAMILIES. For spending their time WORKING. For trying to balance household duties, and being a PARENT.
In a nutshell, I am seeing more and more bloggers saying they are sorry for LIVING THEIR LIVES.
The blogosphere is supposed to be a community that is free of judgment, and full of support, so why are so may bloggers being judged, and why are so many of them feeling the need to apologize for having a life outside of their blog?
If we are truly going to be a supportive community, then we need to adopt the consensus of, “Blogging means never having to say you’re sorry.”
I’m making a call for the apologies to STOP…and for the judgement to STOP as well.
Don’t you think that all of us would love nothing more than to have a few extra hours each day to sit down with a cup of coffee and read all of the amazing blogs out there? I’m pretty certain that most bloggers would say yes.
But somehow laundry, runny noses, shuttling the kids back and forth to school and activities, making three meals a day, keeping the house in order, for some, working a full or part time job, squeezing in a little play time with our kids so they don’t refer to us as “that lady who sits at the computer”, and trying to maintain our own blogs, gets in the way of grabbing a few moments to ourselves, and then we earn reputations as “bloggers who don’t reciprocate.”
I try my best these days, I really do. And even though I can’t return every single comment, I do return almost every single comment with an email reply. And I love my readers. My blog would be nothing without them. And I hope that they know I realize this.
I also know that some bloggers may view me as a “sell-out” for the job I took with Babble.com back in August. I will not defend my choice to take the job, but I will say that it has helped my family tremendously, and it has brought back a part of my life for me that I’d been missing since I gave up my career almost five years ago.
I needed this job. And I love it. And I’m finally getting into a good routine where I have a handle on things and can get back to a more regular posting schedule on The Mommyologist. And that feels GOOD.
I am genuinely hoping that since we are ALL busy women, that we can stop judging each other, and stop apologizing for trying to manage our lives and blogs all at the same time. We’re only human, and we only have so many hours in the day.
I sent out a tweet a few weeks ago that hit home with a couple of my followers, and it is a new motto that I think every blogger should stick by:
“Never judge another blogger for what they do or don’t do. You never know what is going on in their REAL life.”
Who’s with me?
Click here to grab a button 
A definite “thank you” for this reminder. I needed it! And great post.
And WHO would label a blogger as a “sell out” for PAID work? That’s just not cool or classy. I know as a blogger, my ultimate goal to get paid for my work! Sheesh.
Stopping in from Mrs.4444. I am guilty of this, the apologizing. I do it more for the family members that read my posts but I do feel bad for not getting around to other blogs. I try to respond to my comments but as you said, life gets in the way….and you helped me see that, that’s a good thing. Life.
Thanks for the serious post…it looks good on you! ;o)
Here, here!
Visiting from Mrs. 4444.
See, now THIS is why I love blogging so much. Thank you so much for “grounding” me
Actually, Shell had this conversation with me a few weeks back, so I’ve let go of the guilt. Still, it’s good to hear a reminder. You rock. Thank you.
P.S. Shell linked you up on my blog today, which is how I found you
I agree with you on one aspect, that people shouldn’t apologize for not posting because they’re away taking care of real life. However, I think that most people apologize because they feel guilty that others are visiting their blog and leaving comments on their posts, but they aren’t visiting and commenting in return. I don’t see it as an apology for taking care of real life, as much as I see it a matter of feeling bad about not returning the favor. I also think that there is an element of concern over the loss of followers. People may fear that their followers are wondering why they loyally read and comment, but aren’t getting a visit back. And so, they offer up the apology as a way of giving their readers an explanation for not visiting them.
I am comment # 56 and I wouldn’t expect you to comment to all of us. You’d never leave the computer! Hope things are going well with the new job.
I love this post. Thanks for writing what so many of us are thinking! I’m a blogger AND I work part-time and lately it is virtually (no pun intended) impossible for me to read and comment on blogs. Now if ya’ll will excuse me, I have got to go spend time with my family and turn off the computer!
I’m an apologizer myself. In my real life it’s the same. I apologize for calling in sick. I apologize to my husband when I have to work. And, I apologize to my friends when I call it a night early because I’m tired. It’s in my nature and I think a lot of mothers, and women in general, do it. Because we feel responsible for so much. At least I know that’s how it is for me. Being awesome is a big job! So, when I don’t blog or go to blogging events or visit other people’s blogs I feel a little bit like I let people down. I’ve stopped apologizing for it, because I’ve at least figured out that people don’t really even care. I used to be silly and think that my blog readers were sitting over there clicking on my blog, crying a little when I don’t post. No one does that. I’m awesome, but I’m not THAT awesome. But, I still do feel responsible for my blog. Blogging is my job. Even if I don’t get paid for every post I write, I do get paid to maintain my online presence, so I make it a priority, just like I would if I were still teaching. Only, this is WAY more fun! Good post though! I see it touched a ton of people!
OMG!! I love you for saying this. See…here I am visiting you way after you posted this! Sorry! J/K. The flu has been running through our house and really I haven’t felt like blogging as much and reading others so the past week and half I have spent less time on Twitter/blogs etc… I am SO guilty of saying sorry I haven’t been to see you! Why am I like that? NO more. I should never feel like that. The fact of the matter is that life is way more time consuming and way more important! I am so psyched about your babble job!! You deserve it and I am so happy that you LOVE it!!
Amen!
This is great! A couple months ago I gave up. I gave up on apologizing for not returning comments and blog visits as religiously as I had in the past. I’ve got a full, crazy-busy life away from the computer and the last thing I need is to feel a sense of guilt over something that’s supposed to be my release, my creative outlet. I’m done. No more apologizing.
Thank you for sharing this. So many people are afraid to speak up and say “I can’t do it all so something’s gotta fall to the wayside for a bit and I’m sorry bloggy world, but it’s you.” Okay so that might not have made sense, but I’m sure you get the gist of what I’m trying to say. lol
Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud
@TweetingMama
As a relatively new blogger and a relatively new mother, I really needed to read this post. I’m not sure if this comment will be time-stamped but it is 1:30am and I know the baby will be up before 6am. Yet I am an obsessed “lady on her computer”. I am going to take a breath and go to sleep. THANK YOU.
Thank you for this post. I needed to read it. There is a lot of pressure, self-induced or otherwise to post something everyday, respond to comment, visit other blogs, comment on them and to do this all daily. There is just not enough hours in the day!! And no apology should be accepted. Family and sleep come first!