I wrote a similar post to this one over a year ago…and honestly, I could probably crank out a brand new one every single month. Without further ado, I give you:
10 things I Never Thought I’d Say Till I Had A Kid…
1. “No bare butts on the dining room chairs!”
2. “Stop farting on your finger and smelling it!”
3. “Put your weiner back in your pants.” (Or at least, I never thought I’d say this in a situation other than turning down some frat daddy in college).
4. “DON’T wipe that booger on the table. Give it to me, please…I’ll put it in my purse.” (Said at a restaurant…)
5. “What you do with your wiener when you turn 18 is your business, but until then, I get to tell you what you can and can’t do with it.”
6. “No honey…my wiener didn’t fall off. Mommy doesn’t have a wiener.” (Anyone else noticing a trend here)?
7. “I’m sorry, I’m going to have to call you back. I just peed in my pants a little bit.”
8. “Did you poop at school today, honey? What color was it?”
9. “Sure…I’ll get you a snack sweetie…right after I get off the toilet.”
10. “For the love of GOD…watch where you’re aiming that thing and quit pissing on the walls!”
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go fetch the Clorox wipes to try and salvage what’s left of the powder room.
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Hilarious as usual! My husband and I were cracking up over the poop comment!
Katie
Oh My! Laughing so hard and being SO thankful I have a girl.
Is this what I have to look forward to once our little boy arrives? I couldn’t stop laughing as I read through your list!
Bwaaahahaha! What is it with the boogies and wiping them everywhere? Seriously… I find mysterious ones all over me at the end of the day.
Those are great! Yes, taking boogers in my hand is commonplace.
HAHA!!! I just love how you’re not afraid say anything at all. Your awesome…thxs for making me smile.
so funny! i always say i never knew you’d talk about poop so much as a parent! my youngest is a 3 and a boy after all girls so i’m sure i’ll be experiencing some of the other ones soon!
Oh my … so it’s not just me, eh?
Visiting from SITS … enjoy your day!
Number one…oh yes…I know it well…one of the major rules at our house is that you must have underwear on at the table!
Came over from SITS…I know I’m totally late on your day…it’s the story of my life…
anyway…like what I’ve been reading…following now!