Well…little dude has just completed day twelve of kindergarten. And I’m still getting my ass kicked.
Where the hell is my owner’s manual again? May I reiterate that I’m just not cut out for this big kid shit?
After he got off the bus, I checked little dude’s backpack for papers as I do every day, and found a bunch of random shit jammed in there.
I’ll just go ahead and cut to the chase since it’s Friday and cocktail hour is approaching.
Among the papers I retrieved from little dude’s backpack, I found a flyer that read something along these lines:
Please Join us for the Room Parent’s Tea!
Tuesday, September 27th
Location (I’m not effin’ stupid enough to disclose little dude’s school online).
(Some cute little clip-art picture of a house was in the middle of the page)
“If you would like to be a room parent for your child’s classroom, please RSVP to (some chick I don’t know).”
I have a couple of questions here:
1. What the hell is a “Room Parent?”
2. Am I invited to the damn tea or not?
It says that the tea is for Room Parents, but given the fact that I have no idea what the fu&% a Room Parent is, and the fact that the flyer indicates that it’s something I have to sign up for, then why the hell was I teased with this invite if I’m not exactly eligible to attend?
I feel like I’m back in 6th grade again when this boy named Eric Bowers only invited me to his birthday party because his mother made him invite the entire class so no one’s feelings got hurt.
It was a pool party.
And I had a fat crush on Eric Bowers. And he pointed and laughed at my chubby sixth grade self when he saw me in my bathing suit. (Asshat).
I don’t really know what else to say except: Kindergarten = 12, The Mommyologist = ZERO.
Where the hell is my drink?