What The Hell is a “Room Parent?”

SIGH.

Well…little dude has just completed day twelve of kindergarten. And I’m still getting my ass kicked.

Where the hell is my owner’s manual again? May I reiterate that I’m just not cut out for this big kid shit?

Fu&% me.

After he got off the bus, I checked little dude’s backpack for papers as I do every day, and found a bunch of random shit jammed in there.

I’ll just go ahead and cut to the chase since it’s Friday and cocktail hour is approaching.

Among the papers I retrieved from little dude’s backpack, I found a flyer that read something along these lines:

 

 

Please Join us for the Room Parent’s Tea!

Tuesday, September 27th

3:45 pm

Location (I’m not effin’ stupid enough to disclose little dude’s school online).

 

 

(Some cute little clip-art picture of a house was in the middle of the page)

 

 

“If you would like to be a room parent for your child’s classroom, please RSVP to (some chick I don’t know).”

 

I have a couple of questions here:

 

1. What the hell is a “Room Parent?”

2. Am I invited to the damn tea or not?

 

It says that the tea is for Room Parents, but given the fact that I have no idea what the fu&% a Room Parent is, and the fact that the flyer indicates that it’s something I have to sign up for, then why the hell was I teased with this invite if I’m not exactly eligible to attend?

I feel like I’m back in 6th grade again when this boy named Eric Bowers only invited me to his birthday party because his mother made him invite the entire class so no one’s feelings got hurt.

It was a pool party.

And I had a fat crush on Eric Bowers. And he pointed and laughed at my chubby sixth grade self when he saw me in my bathing suit. (Asshat).

I don’t really know what else to say except: Kindergarten = 12, The Mommyologist = ZERO.

Where the hell is my drink?

 

 

Comments

  1. 1

    Ah, yes. A room parent. That means you’ve volunteered to stay in the classroom as a teacher’s helper for a given amount of time / days. I’ve never done it in big kid school, only preschool and only a teeny bit there, because I’m just really too busy. This used to make me feel bad, but considering I do tons of stuff with my kids, and I know I have NO patience for other people’s kids, it’s not like I’m a terrible mom for not doing it. Your call though!

  2. 4
    Mags says:

    If there is a party in class, you organize it.
    If there is collecting of money for a teacher gift, you do it.
    If there is a shortage of volunteers for in class, you do it.

    My mom, was an awesome room parent.
    I am not.

  3. 6

    It’s not just Kindergarten either. My kids are in elementary school and they have “homeroom parents”. I work 30 minutes away by train – I leave that volunteer stuff up to the stay at home parents because if I was at home I would totally do it.

    • 7
      The Mommyologist says:

      I’m leaving it up to Stay-at-homes too I think. I am home, but I work from home, so just not sure I would be a good fit!

  4. 8
    AZLB says:

    I would explain room parent but the others have it covered….I find I am better at center helper and yearbook/class photographer!

  5. 10

    I’m laughing out loud because I, too, got a “room parent”, otherwise referred to in my letter as a “class mom”….this year, there are going ot be 7 of them in my sons room because the teacher didn’t want to “disappoint” any of the 7 mom who signed up. Seriously!? This is totally high school all over again.

  6. 16

    If you ask me, it’s all a bunch of political bullsh@%! As a work-at-home parent, I enjoy visiting the classrooms. My oldest is in 4th grade and youngest started Kindergarten 8 days ago. I’ve never been a room/class parent, and frankly, don’t ever want to be (work at home or out of the home). I’ll let someone else deal with the crap while I come in for some fun parties!

  7. 18
    Mimzy Wimzy says:

    LOL. I used to help with field trips and things but only until 3rd grade. By 3rd grade kids all started getting a bit too lippy for me and I couldn’t hack it. I couldn’t just smack them upside the head for being dumb since they weren’t all mine so I wasn’t about to tolerate it. I am such a good mom for the first 5 years. Years 5-8 aren’t bad… After they turn 8, its really all down hill. I say grab a drink and pretend the paper got “lost”. Do you have a dog? Perhaps the dog ate it?

    • 19
      The Mommyologist says:

      OMG I am SO dreading him getting older. I’ll be lucky if I don’t wind up in prison by the time he’s 10!!
      No dog…so can’t use that excuse…

  8. 20

    Oh my Mary!!! You KILL me!! SO FUNNY!!! I am sending you a cocktail and Asshat? Excellent word. I am so stumbling this post.

    • 21
      The Mommyologist says:

      Thank you my friend! I LOVE the word Asshat. It just has such a nice ring to it without being overly offensive.

  9. 22
    Sherri says:

    Oh Lord…the Room Parent.

    The job everyone pretends to covet but secretly nobody wants…

    Thankfully, I am done with this stuff…but good luck to you!

  10. 24
    kim says:

    i’m the co-room parent in ben’s preschool class. i did it two years ago as well. basically it means we organize the teachers holiday gift and end of the year gift, and help plan/set up/clean up classroom parties. its also how i make sure the teacher realizes that (of course) MY kid is the best in the class (DUH)! haha
    xoxo

  11. 26
    shell says:

    Oh, they are very sneaky, framing it that way, like it’s so fun to do it.

    You don’t have time for all that. Just say no.

  12. 28

    Parents mistakenly think that things get easy when your kids get big, but you have the evidence that it does not. There are the PTA cliques, bake sales, field trips…it’s definitely like being back in high school!

  13. 30
    Capability says:

    Run, save yourself! Kidding…sort of. Do not become a room parent – at least not this year!

  14. 32
    Nolie says:

    Room parent to me sounds something along the lines as run as fast and far away as you can in the opposite direction and don’t look back.

  15. 34
    Sili says:

    I have no idea what that is but, if it doesn’t include wine, I’m not signing up! ;-)

  16. 36

    Ooohhh….you have a long year ahead of you……a little word of advice….”room parents” are typically INSANE where I live….watch yourself….

  17. 38

    we have no room parent, but my kindergartner’s teacher called me from her home number last night to remind me about the parent volunteer orientation this morning…no pressure…but I can volunteer a few mornings a month, as long as I don’t have to deal with other parents…cuz I’m kind of a bitch that way
    and she also said she stumbled across my blog…and she’ll def be nice to me so she doesn’t end up as fodder! mwahaha!

  18. 40

    It’s really just a money collector/party thrower position. Headache. I almost got talked into it at preschool this year, but used my 2yo and lack of childcare as an excuse. Whatever. I don’t want to chase people with an envelope to get money…I’d end up buying the damn gift myself.

  19. 42

    OMG I just found your site and I have to ROCK ON. You are a truly authentic mom and I am enjoying all of your posts. I was a teacher for more years than I want to admit and even I was intimidated by room moms! I’m so happy to your newest follower.

  20. 44
    Elizabeth says:

    Don’t forget that any volunteering (room parent or anything) requires background checks! Room parent isn’t bad; it just isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. (ha!) The good thing about volunteering once in a blue moon at the school is you get to know all the teachers and staff better, which gives you a good idea of how they are in the classrooms with the kids. Plus they see you as an “involved” parent which is nice. I help out with the PTO but not in the classrooms. I’m all for things like Box Tops coordinator where all you do is collect the bagges from the school, trim the Box Tops down and mail them in every few months. Ta-dah! Of course I end up being Fundraising Chair because our PTO stinks and I want to change everything and run it my way. Which is the right way of course.

  21. 46

    Room Parent = Being responsible for all of the extra crap that you really don’t want to do in the first place. My mom did the room parent gig year after year and totally rocked at it. But she was also a full time SAHM with no extra, on the side jobs to tend to.

  22. 48
    Glamamom says:

    Oh gosh. I feel for you. School socializing isn’t really at the top of my list either. Good luck, room parent. HA!

    • 49
      The Mommyologist says:

      I’ll let someone else sign up for room parent. Something tells me I’d get the entire class in trouble.

  23. 50

    Oh man! Yeah being the room parent is over rated let me tell you…and I’m a SAHM! But I’m no Martha Stewart…I’m not crafty, and being in a room with 20+ Kindergartners made me want to keep a bottle of vodka in my car! HA!

  24. 52
    Sara says:

    Ha! I am the Room Mom Coordinator (Shoot, I’m the Parent Volunteer Coordinator) and I have to coordinate every single volunteer that comes through the school’s door. AHHHHHH.

  25. 54
    JulieK says:

    LOL… your post definitely is pushing me over the edge into homeschooling for kindergarten. Being a “room parent” from all the comments above sounds like a BS job.
    If I homeschool, guess what? :) I will be the teacher, the principal, the parent… oh AND, I’ll give myself the title of Room parent every Thursday just for fun!
    I will send home memos thanking myself for being such a supportive parent of the educational process.
    I won’t give homework on the weekends or holidays, and there will be no “everybody wins” mentality b/c… well it’ll just be my son and myself, so of course, WE WILL WIN!
    We’ll eat cinnamon toast and hot cocoa for our snack break without worrying one cent about any “wellness policy” … and we’ll have a bake sale every Friday, and nobody will be able to buy out the Rice Krispie treats before I get there.
    Ah… yes, homeschooling is sounding like it will suit me just fine. No clue what my SON will be doing, but I will be having fun! :) LOL

    • 55
      The Mommyologist says:

      I don’t blame you for wanting to give homeschooling a try! After this first year in big kid school, I totally understand why people do it!

  26. 57
    cissy o says:

    My kids would not live to tell about homeschooling. So here are my elementary school survival tips:

    There are parents that make elementary school way more complicated than it has to be, esp in affluent suburbs. Often these parents become the room mothers. My oldest is in 4th grade and here is my recipe for surviving elementary school with your sanity in tact:
    1. Cultivate friendships with moms that are involved that keep you in the loop.
    2. Volunteer for things that you like that are not too demanding so that the teachers and staff have some idea who you are and you get to know them and the other kids.
    3. Throw money at the problem. When the room parent asks for anything be the first to send it in. Reply to her emails. It is generally a thankless job that no one wants so appreciate the hell out of her even if she bugs you.
    4. Speak up when it really matters. Don’t waste your energy on stupid stuff but if you are helpful then your opinion can have an impact when it really counts.

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