Yesterday was a very big day for me, as I turned two-years old! Well…at least my blog did. Although I think that I look pretty damn good for 34 if I do say so myself. Not that I’m conceited or anything.
October 23rd, 2011 was the two-year anniversary of the day I published my very first post on The Mommyologist. Would you guys believe that I got the idea for this blog AND started it the very same day?
Yeah…I’m not a planner. I’m more of a spontaneous kind of gal, and I tend to do things when they just “feel right,” or some shit like that. I’m about as far away from Type-A as a person can get. I more like Type-Z or something. And I dig it.
The past two years have been somewhat of a whirlwind, and I won’t sit here and lie and tell you that my journey has been an easy one, or that I haven’t had days where I wondered why in the hell I’m doing this or what my end goal with The Mommyologist is.
The truth is that I really don’t know where I’m going…but I’m definitely on my way.
If you are curious as to how I survived two years of blogging without losing my mind or throwing in the towel, I’ve put together a list of do’s and don’t's for you as far as what I’ve learned about the whole blogging gig.
Ok, I feel like I need some sort of disclosure here…
*Please note that all opinions expressed in these tips are purely my own, and may or may not apply to you and your philosophies on blogging. This is only advice, not a “how-to” guide to blogging or anything remotely similar to that. This is a list of what worked for me, so don’t go all postal on my ass if you read this and decide to quit blogging. And please forgive me for deviating from my humorous tone for this particular list. Some things have to just get said without being funny.
How To Survive Two Years of Blogging and Still Want To Keep Doing It
1. DO know your mission and your brand and DO NOT try to be somebody else. Quit worrying about what other bloggers are doing with their blogs and focus on what YOU are doing with YOUR blog. People will return to your blog because you are unique and different from everyone else, which is what you want to strive to be every day.
2. DO NOT let the success of other bloggers intimidate you or make you feel like you are doing something wrong, or that you or your blog “just aren’t good enough.” That is NOT TRUE. There will ALWAYS be someone who gets more opportunities than you and is more well known than you are. But remember that they are not YOU, and you are special and worthy and have SO MUCH to offer people with your blog. And remember that there are plenty of bloggers who look at YOU as “that blogger” who they’d love to be like someday.
3. DO let yourself be motivated by people instead of being motivated by money and numbers. The minute I take my focus away from striving to help women and make them laugh and shift it to trying to make my paycheck bigger each month, I find myself losing my voice. This also happens to me when I get too caught up in my numbers and worry about how many followers and subscribers I have, etc. I actually only check my stats now about once a month, and money is not a reason for why I hit the publish button on my posts every week. I get paid when someone leaves me a comment, or sends me an email or tweet telling me that they read something I wrote and it inspired them to get out of bed, take a shower, put on a cute outfit and makeup, and rock their Mom Sexy that day. You just can’t put a price on helping other women remember their worth.
4. DO NOT get upset or worry if there are people who don’t like you. It’s OKAY if not everyone likes you. Always remember that you can’t please everyone, and imagine just how boring life would be if everyone liked you. Think about some of the people you most admire in blogging, or just in general, as far as being successful goes. Now take a good look at that person and think hard. Does everyone like him/her? I didn’t think so. Not everyone is going to agree with what you’ve got to say…and that is OK. Haters are a good thing.
5. DO the best you can with your blog each week, and let that be good enough for you. Remember that it is OK to have a life outside of your computer. What on earth would you blog about if you didn’t? There are some weeks when I post three times, others where I only post once. And I’m OK with that. I do the best I can when I can do it, and that is good enough for me. We have enough guilt in our lives and should not put any more on ourselves. Stop being your own worst enemy, and remember that YOU are in control of your blog. YOU say when and how often you post, and the only person who can give you a hard time about it is yourself. QUIT beating yourself up for having a LIFE.
6. DO step out of your comfort zone as often as you can if you want to continue to learn and grow with your blog. Yes, you will be nervous, but that’s the whole idea. The first time I ever interviewed a celebrity, I was nervous. The first time I ever went on the radio, I was nervous. The first vlog I ever recorded, I was nervous. The first TV segment I was featured on, I was nervous. But you know what? EVERYONE who has ever done any of those things for the very first time was nervous. If you don’t get over your nerves and try new things, you’ll never get used to doing them. Take that leap!
7. DO NOT let anyone undermine your success or your blog in any way. Sadly, there are people who either don’t want to be happy for you, or just don’t get the whole blogging thing. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked, “How did you get invited to that?”, or “How can blogging be a job?”, etc. Instead of letting those people get under my skin and make me question my self-worth, I instead choose to focus my energy on people in my life who support my blogging journey, because there are plenty of them. THOSE people deserve my time…not those “other” folks.
8. DO realize that it’s OK to say no to people. You know how precious your time is, and you know that there is only so much that you can put on your plate at any given point during the day. You DO NOT have to post something because someone sent you a really nice email and wants you to promote their shit for free. You DO NOT have to accept every single product that is offered to you for a review/giveaway just because the person addressed you by your first name and told you how much they love your blog. (NEWS FLASH: They “loved” about 100 other blogs that day too). And you DO NOT have to cater to each and every single request from each and every single person in your life each and every single day. You are only one person, and there are only so many hours in a day. LEARN TO SAY “NO” and be alright with it.
9. DO NOT throw a hissy fit and assume that you’ve failed the first time you hit a valley in blogging. Blogging is a series of peaks and valleys, and my entire two-year adventure has been a total up-and-down whirlwind. There are times when I really feel like I’m rockin’ and rollin’ and have an incredible groove going on, and then there are other times where I feel like I’m totally out of the loop and wonder how on earth I’m going to keep moving forward and grow my blog any further. Ride the peaks when you have them, and gather the strength to climb out of the valleys when you find yourself at the bottom of those. The only person who can declare that your blog has “failed” is YOU.
10. DO develop relationships and friendships with other bloggers and people in the social media space, and DO NOT be afraid to ask them for help or inspiration when you need it. I would never be where I am if there had not been people willing to answer my questions and show me the ropes along the way, and I strive to give that back to others whenever I can. I won’t lie…there are people out there who are “non-sharers” and are afraid that they’ll let out the freakin’ blogging secret of the century by answering a question from another blogger. If you encounter a non-sharer, just move on and ask someone else. There is ALWAYS someone who is willing to help. (For the record, I am one of those people, so you can always feel free to email me if you have questions. I will do my best to answer them without sounding like an asshole).
Stay tuned for next year’s survival post on my THREE year anniversary. Yes, I plan on making it that far.
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I have been in it for nearly 4 years. The first year I had absolutely zero readers. I was a writer, things that had learned about God, life, living as a survivor of sexual abuse. While I still love those things I learned those were not the only things I could write about. I discovered the SITS Girls and found a whole ton of other blogs. The one thing I can say is I don’t really have a niche. I don’t just blog on family, or life , or do reviews. Some days it is a whole lot of nothing, others it is something near and dear. I wouldn’t even know how to discover my rankings or ratings and I am okay with that. All of these are great pointers.. I do me cause that is the ONLY thing I know for sure.. and I sure don’t fit into a small little box.
Doing what works for you is the only way to go in my opinion…that is why you are different and special and so well loved in the blogosphere!!
These are excellent tips! thank you and congratulations again on making the mark.
Thanks so much! I still cannot believe two years have gone by!
Happy blogoversary! Great tips! I also think we should focus on quality over quantity. This applies to followers – focus on who your readers are instead of the numbers. It also applies to posting – write when you want instead of throwing something up just to post.
Thank you! I couldn’t agree more. I blog when I can and when I have something worthy of blogging about. I figure if I have to scrounge for topics, it isn’t worth it!
Such great tips Mary! You have done such a great job with your focus and congratulations on 2 years! Happy Anniversary!
Thanks so much!! Hopefully things will keep moving forward, though I think I need about 20 more hours in every day!
Thanks for publishing this – as a new blogger, it is pretty easy to get sucked into looking at what someone else is doing and find yourself drifting towards that. I intend to bookmark this post and remind myself to stay true to my own voice!
Sometimes it is so hard not to worry about what others are doing, but I promise that sticking with your original mission is what will make you successful. Just do what you set out to do and you’ll be fine!
Congrats on 2 years. Great tips too.
Thank you!
Excellent tips!!! The #1 thing I have done is to be myself which you also do which is why I love you. Congrats on 2 years!
Love you too girl! Cheers to being ourselves (and actually “cheersing” for real at #BBCVEGAS!
Great inspirational post! Thanks for your tips, happy blog birthday and yes, you look fabulous which is anothe source of inspiration for all the mom sexy gals out there.
Thank you for saying that! I’m definitely trying, though some days are better than others!
Awesome awesome post.
I am brand new to blogging. I love writing and being a mom and recently a friend of mine suggested blogging. Said I should just try it for fun (he actually sent me your site to look at and show me what people can accomplish, because I was one of those people that thought “people actually do that?”). And now, I love it. I have only been doing it 2 months. And probably a total of 3 people look at my blog. And I don’t care. I am having a blast writing it. And it gives me an outlet. A way to get some of my thoughts and random things out on paper (or screen, whatever) and be creative.
I will definitely be keeping your tips in mind going forward!
Totally curious as to who your friend is…please thank him for me for referring you to my site! Just keep doing what you feel is right and things have a way of working out. The minute blogging becomes a chore, you will totally lose your focus. It has to feel right!
Happy 2 year blog anniversary! I love your tips, they are so true. I do find myself getting sucked into the numbers game and getting down on myself when the numbers are not what I want to see. I shouldn’t bother even looking at them, just enjoy the time spent blogging and reading other blogs, like yours!
Definitely just enjoy yourself! I used to get caught up in the numbers, but once I realized that numbers were never part of my original goal, just “doing my thing” became a whole lot easier!
Happy Blogoversary!! I just looked and mine will be one year old on November 9th! How fun! Congrats on making it to two!! I am sure you will be around a very very long time!
Thanks so much…hope you are right!
You have accomplished so much in two years and your tips are so true. The only one I can’t seem to follow is ignoring stats. I just have to look.
It is so tough not to look sometimes! I was really into it for a while, but then I just remembered why I started blogging in the first place, and it had nothing to do with numbers. I seem to do ok as long as I stick to that original mission!
These are such great tips. Thanks for sharing them! I’m hoping I make it to one year–and that’s still pretty far away.
You will! Just be who you are and be proud of it!
Happy Happy Blogoversary to you, and congratulations!
For a newbie blogger like me this is a great list! Thank you for writing it. I have so very much to learn. I can’t promise that I won’t be contacting you with a question or 500 sometime down the road!
Absolutely contact me anytime! I am happy to help!
Congrats! That is an awesome list of tips! Totally worth reading again and again when bloggers feel like they hit a slump or don’t know what they are doing. It’s definitely true how easy it is to start looking around you and forget to look inward at what YOU want and outward at WHERE you’re going… great points! I love how you’re so honest about your blogging experiences!
Way to go on 2 years of blogging!!! Wahoo!
Thanks, my friend! I hit slumps from time to time, but then I just try and go back to my original purpose in starting this blog and things seem to even out again!
Congrats on 2 years! The one about the haters was the hardest one for me to learn.
Thanks girl! Haters can be tough. But I’m always here to kick any of their asses for you.
You are full of the wisdom! Thanks for being an inspiring blogger!
Thank you! I wish I had more time to connect and read more blogs, etc. Took me two days just to return comments! But I’m still just trying to do the best I can and hope it works out!
This was just the thing I needed to read right now. I gave myself the week ‘off’ from blogging because I have some extra family and work obligations going on. And trying to keep up with my real life responsibilities in addition to trying to meet my blogging goals was starting to burn me out.
This helped me not feel guilty about skipping a week.
Thank you!! Never beat yourself up for taking a break. You are only human, and you DO have a life outside of your online world. You have to do the best you can and let that be good enough, otherwise you’ll bring yourself down. Your blog kicks ass and that is why people come back, so don’t sweat it!
Well..you know I think your a rock star, and I love you for posting this. I LOVE to write…it actually consumed, was my outlet, brought me joy all of last year. But when hubby deployed, my blog took a major backseat..and I’ve had guilt about it for 5 months!! (add to the fact that we found out that we had a SURPRISE baby on board!!!) I’m just now rekindling my love for my blog..whenever my 4 kiddos give this single mama a moment. But I’ve noticed my readership/commenters have declined drastically. It’s disheartening to think all the work I did last year may have been for not. But I can honestly say that deployment, my 4 kids, and baby on board consume all that i have. On a side note…how on earth do you get paid to blog!?! That kind of sounds like heaven to me…especially since our awesome government officials have cut the funding for my hubby’s job when he gets back from war! 2 unemployed people doesn’t feed 5 kids!!!
I can’t even imagine what you have gone through not having your husband there. I totally commend you for having time to blog AT ALL! My readership has diminished too since I’ve gotten busier, but I am ok with that. Sometimes life happens and you just have to resolve to do the best you can, when you can do it. The paid gigs just came along with time and with me stumbling across job ads and applying. Totally luck!
Great list of advice here! I think one of the most important things you mentioned was not being intimidated by or beaten down by those who are a bit bigger than you. No one is ever going to be “the best” at everything. But you don’t GET better unless you keep on. Looking forward to year #3 of the Mommyologist!
There are SO many people who are so much more successful than I will ever be, but I am ok with that. They worked hard to get where they are, and if I sit here and worry about whether or not I’ll ever get there I’ll drive myself nuts. I think that every person has a little piece of the world they are supposed to be in, and things have a way of working out!
Many thanks (and congrats!) for your wisdom in this post. Couldn’t come at a more perfect time. I’m a rookie and feel a little like I’m trudging through mud – haven’t hit a stride yet. I will be bookmarking this post and reviewing it on occasion for sure! Look forward to reading more.
Hitting a stride can definitely be tough. I even find myself struggling sometimes! You just have to stick to your mission and keep moving forward no matter what!
Congrats! You’ve been a huge help and inspiration to me, and I love visiting you. And these are GREAT tips.
Thank you so much, Katie! I wish I had more time to visit your blog and all of the other great blogs out there. I wonder if I’ll ever have time to balance it all…it took me two whole days just to reply to this comment! I can’t tell you how much I appreciate all of your support!
Congratulations, you have got a lot done in two years
Thank you! I still can’t believe how quickly that time went by.
I am still learning so many of these lessons.
Sometimes I still have to repeat them out loud to myself as well!
Happy Blogoversary! This is a great list. I think it’s impossible to stick with this whole journey unless you follow tips such as these – make it a labor of love and do it for yourself instead of money etc. Congratulations! So glad we’ve gotten to know each other throughout this journey
I am so happy that we have gotten to know each other too! I still look to you as a role model…you were one of the first bloggers who ever followed me, and one of the first blogs I ever read. You are so good at staying true to who you are, and I strive to be the same way! Can’t wait to connect again in real life…hopefully sooner rather than later! xoxo
Great advice…blogging ebbs and flows (much like marriage) and I love some of the friends that I’ve made through my keyboard.
Aren’t blogger friends the best? Wouldn’t trade them for anything!
Hi! Our mutual friend Jen Brantner just told me about your blog–so glad she did! I love these tips. Thanks for sharing!
What a small world! Love Jen and I’m glad that she sent you my way. Please tell her hi for me!