A HUGE Surprise For My Wedding Anniversary!

So…today is kind of a special day for me and the hubster, because it happens to be our 8th wedding anniversary. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, eight years ago today, the hubster took me off the market and made an honest woman out of me…or something to that effect.

To this day, I’m still not sure which one of us got the better end of the deal, because we can both be a pretty big pain in the ass at times.

All pains in the ass aside, however, somehow we make this shit work, even though it’s far from perfect.

We both work hard, and honestly, 98% percent of the time we lead completely separate lives, and it’s tough to remember that we are in fact, husband and wife, and not just “little dude’s parents.”

This past weekend, the two of us went off to Newport, Rhode Island for a little anniversary getaway minus the kiddo. And it was AWESOME.

The weather was in the mid-80s. Did  I mention that this is freakin’ October?


Somewhere in Newport...


Yes…that’s me. In a tank top. In Rhode Island. In OCTOBER. I had this cute little breezy shirt on over it, but felt the need to strip down to that tank top to avoid looking like a sweaty mess. Because being a sweaty mess on your anniversary trip just isn’t Mom Sexy.

Anyhow…it was wonderful to get away and to reconnect and to somehow act like a real couple and remember why we got hitched in the first place.

And then we came home, absolutely elated to see little dude again, and to give him a couple of surprises that we picked up for him on our trip.

But since little dude often likes to remind us that he is most definitely running the freakin’ show around here, he came up with a little surprise of his own to give us later on that night.

Actually, it was a HUGE surprise…conveniently disguised as one GIGANTIC STUCK POOP. Have you ever had a kid with a GIGANTIC STUCK POOP?

Trust me…you’re missing the show of the century if you haven’t seen this phenomenon.

Little dude went to bed fine, but then he woke up about an hour later saying that his butt hurt and he didn’t know why. We got him up, sat him down on the toilet…and watched him proceed to turn a bright shade of purple, and produce a rock-hard turd about the size of the dime.

And that’s when it hit us that this was no ordinary shit. We were definitely dealing with a GIGANTIC STUCK POOP.

We went straight from an alone weekend on the beautiful coast of Rhode Island, to hanging out in the bathroom with our five year-old waiting in completely anticipation of him finally passing the GIGANTIC STUCK POOP.

And finally, the evening concluded with the hubster sitting on the floor, little dude sitting on the shitter, and me hovering over little dude sticking a suppository in his ass while he giggled and begged me to keep doing it because he said he could feel the poop finally breaking loose.

And this, of course, had the hubster and I laughing so hard that we were both practically in tears.

Marriage may have it’s shitty moments…but sometimes you just have to recognize the little things that make life so special. Like helping your kid push out a GIGANTIC STUCK POOP and in turn, realizing what a great team you are.

Happy Anniversary to me and the hubster…and best wishes for a shit-free year going forward.


  1. 1

    If kid ever has a stuck poop again you could try to get him to ingest a teaspoon of hot olive oil, the poop will shoot out. Literally…

  2. 3
    Karol says:

    hah! My daughter SCREAMED and RAN when I had to do suppositories on her a couple months ago and she’s 5 too. At least your little dude is brave!

    • 4
      The Mommyologist says:

      He definitely wasn’t thrilled about it…but thank God he let me do it!

      • 5
        Karol says:

        Definitely! My daughter I had to try suppositories and then I had to try some metamucil and then some chocolate laxative drops. omg it was terrible.

        • 6
          The Mommyologist says:

          Yuck!!! Those drops sound horrible!

          • 7
            Karol says:

            yeah they’re pretty disgusting but they do get the job done! poor kid. i think drinking the metamucil is just much easier if she didn’t freak out. my daughter is a total hypochondriac it’s exhausting!

  3. 8
    mindy says:

    love this post, and love you guys! happy anniverary!!

  4. 10
    Evonne says:

    Happy anniversary! Shit and all! I’m celebrating my anniversary tomorrow, but I hope it’s not as shitty as yours.

    Adding a teaspoon of mineral oil to a cup of juice helps, too.

  5. 12
    Tina says:

    This is just awesome. I needed the laugh this morning. Happy Anniversary to you….and try adding a pro-biotic to the little dude’s diet! LOL!

  6. 14
    Mimzy Wimzy says:

    Happy Anniversary. Glad you had a great time away, alone, together.
    When my son was that age he ONLY pooped in his sleep. He would hold it in as long as he could. He said “I don’t like the way it feels to poop” Plymouth Rock in his pull ups at least once a week. Now, as a teenager, he proudly announces that he’s “gotta take a dump” and spends forever in the bathroom reading as if its his own personal library. Kids. Gotta love ‘em. {Its the law right?}

  7. 16
    Vi Nguyen says:

    Happy Anniversary!!!! 8 years is amazing & it’s great you guys got to get away to enjoy yourselves.

    Haha, ah your son really does like to steal the show doesn’t he? I came over to read about your anni & my eyes immediately drifted to “ONE GIGANTIC STUCK POOP”. :)

    I can’t tell you the countless times my daughter would say her butt hurt after her pooping expeditions haha. Kids!

  8. 17
    Kim says:

    This seriously had me laughing and smiling the whole time. From the awesome time you had with your hubby to the story with little dude. Things like this happen in our house all the time. And they are they things we smile and laugh the hardest about. (I mean we have yet to experience the gigantic stuck poop – but you get my drift.)

    Glad you had an awesome anniversary and such a welcoming evening home!

  9. 18

    Happy Anniversary!!

  10. 19
    Shell says:

    Glad you had a good weekend away…

    and that you can laugh at the poop!

  11. 20
    Jocelyn says:

    Dude, seriously, dying laughing again here! My husband and I would totally be in hysterics too during such a suppository episode. I give you credit because I’d probably be laughing too hard to even do anything for the poor kid. Real nice, Mom, just stand there and laugh at me as my butt’s about to explode. Eek! But your anniversary trip sounds awesome!! I am loving this October summer weather here in WI as well.

  12. 21

    Oh my…that is too funny. It’s funny how kids bring us back to reality so damn quick! Happy Anniversary :)

  13. 22

    Oh wow! It is amazing how one of your kids will totally bring you back to Earth after a wonderful time alone. And, of course, with poop no less.

  14. 23

    babe…been there, in fact-I was there a few weeks ago…care for visuals?

    oh, and Happy Anniversary! It’ll be our 8 year this November…

  15. 24

    And that? Is parenthood! OMG, too funny. I’m glad you got to steal some time away together, especially before having to deal with a GIGANTIC STUCK POOP. Now I don’t feel so bad about the post I just wrote for tomorrow about my toddler noticing the string between my legs and saying, “Mommy, something wrong with your butt!” SO not a conversation I was ready to have. ;)

    Happy Anniversary!

  16. 25

    Awww, poor baby. My daughter get’s this way too. Our pediatrician says to give her Karo syrup every day and up the fiber. Poor kid. What a way to wrap up your anniversary weekend. Laughs over a shitty situation with your favorite guy. What could be better. That is the ear mark of a truly remarkable couple!Happy Anniversary!

  17. 26
    BettanPR says:

    Happy anniversary! I enjoyed reading your story; it is all so familiar, this wonderful blend of bliss and the unexpected trauma! Hoping for many happy years together, with little dude growing up in front of your eyes. You’ll love it.

  18. 27

    Awww. The poop memories are always the best.
    Happy Anniversary and all that shit!

  19. 28
    Holly says:

    I just tripped upon your blog randomly and this cracked me up! Good to know I am not the only one who’s children have giant stuck poops! They wait days upon days and poop their entire colon full at one time! We have found that a little Miralax dissolved in a drink daily helps this to happen less often. Good luck and congrats on the anniversary:)

  20. 29
    Missy Olive says:

    Oh yes! been there and done that one! Our little one screamed, “GET IT OUT!!!!!”

    You tell the story MUCH better! Thank you!

  21. 30
    Kir says:

    first I ADORE NEWPORT…RI, we have such great memories from visiting that place. We went in October too and it happened to be that warm the time we went too.

    and I’m so glad that GIGANTIC STUCK POOP finally released itself……you make me giggle….poor little dude.

  22. 31
    nmaha says:

    Happy Anniversary, stuck poop and all :-)

  23. 33
    MommaKiss says:

    Happy 8 years. Just wait til 9, it’s a killer (just kidding). Our 9th was on 10/5. And this past weekend? Unbelievable!

    • 34
      The Mommyologist says:

      Ha Ha Ha!! I am one year behind ya, almost exactly! Last weekend was amazing. This weekend? Rain and wind. Which means I can eat a big hot bowl of something, which makes me happy.

  24. 35
    goodbadnfab says:

    I have been reading your blog for the last thirty minutes! Such great posts. Please check out my blog when you get a chance!

    Please check out my blog when you get a chance!
    the personal style and fashion musings of a LA fashion lawyer living life in the fab lane

  25. 37
    Glamamom says:

    Aw! Bonding over poop. I can’t think of a better way to spend an anniversary!

Speak Your Mind