The Elf On The Shelf: (a.k.a. The Sleep Nazi)

Were you or are you still a hard-core Seinfeld fan?

I am.

I LOVE that shit. And if you don’t, then the only excuse I’ll accept is that you’ve never seen one episode in your entire life. If you have seen it and don’t think it’s funny, then I don’t think that you are freakin’ funny either.

Ok, changing subjects for a minute…

Last night, the Elf on the Shelf returned to our house for the season. “Elfie,” as my son named him last year, showed up at our front door perched up on a miniature pumpkin. (And no, I haven’t taken down the Halloween decorations nor have I put the Christmas decorations up yet. Mama’s been a little preoccupied with power outages and total displacement).

I wasn’t sure that little dude would fall for it, but after the hubster dug Elfie out of the basement, situated him on the front porch, and rang the doorbell, little dude opened the door and was literally squealing with excitement that Elfie had flown in from the North Pole and graced our family with his presence once again. I have to admit, it was pretty damn cute.

We placed Elfie on the mantle, and then after little dude went to bed, I moved him to another spot. (Because any of you who have the Elf know what happens the next morning if you forget to move him to a new location).

Ok, cue the Seinfeld reference, because instead of referring to that little fu%&er as Elfie, I’m now referring to him as “The Sleep Nazi.”

(No, I’m not an asshole. I know that on Seinfeld it’s “The Soup Nazi.” Just shut up and keep reading).

This morning right around 6am, I was awoken by a loud little voice speaking directly into my ear….”Hey Mommy!!! Can you BELIEVE that Elfie came back? I can’t wait to see where he is this morning!”

Did I mention that it’s still dark at 6am during this time of year in CT?

I managed to convince little dude to lay in my bed with me till 7am, which he interpreted as meaning he could roll around in the bed and make me seasick for an hour.

We finally came downstairs, and he was thrilled to find Elfie sampling the leftover Halloween candy.

 

elf on the shelf

 

Look at the expression on Elfie’s face. Do you hear what I hear?

“NO SLEEP FOR YOU!”

 

Comments

  1. 1
    Santa Fred says:

    As Santa I have used the elf on the shelf theme for many years. It is a fine tool. Telling a child that Santa is watching will some times freak them out. But having an elf on the shelf or in the supermarket behind the gum at checkouts works. I tell them since elf are very shy they will act like statues or move really fast as not to be seen. The Elves will report to me nightly so we can update or Naughty /Nice list. . A few hints, change positions often,don’t let dust collect. drop a few cookie crumbs by him/her. they like Santa love cookies. It is the parents who help me with the Spirit of Christmas.

  2. 2
    Evonne says:

    We just welcomed an elf into our house over the weekend. His name is Geno. They’re troublesome little buggers! I really hope I don’t forget to move him!

    • 3
      The Mommyologist says:

      I’m sure I will forget at some point. I’ll have to come up with some good excuses for days he doesn’t move!

  3. 4
    Angie says:

    BEST.SHOW.EVER.

    The Elf on the Shelf is making it’s first ever appearance in our home this year … your post is making me re-think this decision ;) My kid has been the sleep nazi around here basically since she was born and she’s reaching the point of being able to climb out of her crib. I know she’s probably going to surprise me on Christmas morning by scaring the shit out of me with her appearance in our bedroom…

    • 5
      The Mommyologist says:

      It really is the cutest thing…but sincerely hoping it doesn’t get my kid out of bed at the crack of dawn every day. I barely slept all weekend and I’m so exhausted!

  4. 6

    I love you. That’s all.

    Ours is named Elfie as well, and yes I have forgotten to move him the last two nights (already) and had to go downstairs in the middle of the night to move the damn thing. I love him though because until Xmas all I have to say is “Elfie”. Behavior corrected ;)

  5. 8
    Shell says:

    We have yet to get an Elf on the Shelf. I think I’d always forget to move him!

  6. 9
    Andrea says:

    I seen this Elf everywhere on the internet last year, but was too late in finding one around town, so this year I got one nice and early. I can’t wait to pull him out and start using him to get the kids to be good! I can be guaranteed that I will forget to move him though, and one of these days the kids will put together that both the Tooth Fairy and Santa are SO forgetful….much like Mommy!

  7. 10
    Tracie says:

    The elf creeps me out. So even though I love you, I have to go hide under a blanket for an hour now to make sure there are no elves watching me.

  8. 11
    Christina says:

    I am so glad to hear that I am not the only person with Halloween decorations up and Christmas decorations promptly displayed, although I don’t have nearly as good of an excuse! I was driving through town the other day thinking what a loser I am as I see everyones houses (ok maybe not everyone, but still A LOT of houses) with their perfectly strung lights adorning their roofs, lighted reindeer filling their yards and decorated christmas trees in the front window and here I am with pumpkins and a dried up mum on my porch (i suck at keeping plants alive, but it was sure pretty for about a month) and ghosts and bats and witches floating around on my windows and in my house.
    Good luck with elfie. Ours is Buddy. I forgot to move him a couple times and I could see the skepticism and doubt growing in his little eyes about how legit this whole elf thing is, especially when we were at Barnes & Noble and he saw the ones they sell there. Be creative and google it and theres a lot of neat ideas that I am not near clever enough to have thought of to do with our little elf friend. I tried telling my son last year that Buddy the elf stays asleep until the sun comes up…that resulted in him SCREAMING down the steps the next morning at 5am…”WAKE UP BUDDY, RISE AND SHINE I AM COMING TO FIND YOU. YOU CAN’T SLEEP IF I’M NOT”…..Totally NOT cool. Buddy might find a new home in a snow bank if that starts again this year!

  9. 12
    Johanna says:

    We’ve never done the Elf on the Shelf….and now I think I may avoid that tradition. My son would be up at the crack of predawn too and things aren’t pretty when I don’t get enough sleep.

  10. 13
    Kasey says:

    We had our elf out for 2 days and forgot to move her on the second day. OOPS!!!! We have already failed!!! LOL

  11. 14

    Holy s***…that thing is kinda creepy. I wouldn’t sleep either if that thing was in my house for fear he would kill me in my sleep!
    Love, love, love Seinfeld. I can watch it over and over and over again :) “No soup for you!”

  12. 15

    I wish that I knew more about the Elf on the Shelf when my kids were younger. Jacob is too old now and Paige is going to figure things out pretty soon. Bummer. I love the Elf on the Shelf!

  13. 16
    Candice says:

    The Elf is just plain creepy. Some kids might get a kick out of it but others find it to be quite scary. A neighbor was talking about it the other day and my son said, “mommy we are locking all our doors, that elf is not getting in!”

  14. 17
    Azlb says:

    Somglad I read this tonight I forgot to move our elf. Out of bed I go. No sleep for you!!!!

  15. 18
    Jessica says:

    My three year old is terrified of Elf on a Shelf this year. We put it away and are going to try it again next year.

  16. 19

    Oh my, this is the first time I hear of the ‘elf on the shelf’ thing and I love it! It is so cute!

  17. 20
    Sili says:

    Okay, am I supposed to get one of those? Will I go to mami jail if I say I don’t have an elf? I’m just sayin’. As far as Seinfeld is concerned, I say that crap all the time and some people look at me like I’m crazy. I substitute whatever I’m talking about instead of saying soup so, I got you.

    The question is: do you have the Festivus for the Rest of Us book?! Cuz I totally do and it rocks my world to pull it out every Festivus! lmao

  18. 21
    LB says:

    I guess I’ve been living under a rock b/c I just heard of the Elf on the Shelf this year!!! I’d considered it, but after reading this I’m glad I haven’t. My kids would be the same freakin’ way, and there would be no sleep for LB. I need my sleep. Thanks for the non-recommendation!

  19. 22
    nmaha says:

    This is such a cute tradition, almost like a Christmas tooth fairy.

  20. 23

    I have woken up panicked in the middle of the night b/c of this damn elf! Love the idea of ringing the doorbell though…that’s classic!

    It’s also nice to see that someone else has their Halloween candy still sitting out.

  21. 24
    Tina says:

    Hilarious. We’ve been having fun with ours this year. Last night he started a fire while cooking in the kitchen and managed to find an elf sized fire truck. Tonight he will need to clean up that shit.
    In other news, my husband and I have taken to making more adult scenes with him for photos and then posting to facebook. So, in reference to the sleep issue, our elf had a bit of a cocaine problem last night. I’m just saying…
    Best,
    Tina

  22. 25
    Missy Olive says:

    I just love reading your blog! So funny! and I LOVE Seinfeld!!!! Further proof of why I should like you even more. Enjoy the remaining sleepless nights! One of the kids in his class will tell him that there is no Santa and it will all be over.

  23. 26
    Kim says:

    How have I never heard of this?!?!

    My kid has an internal alarm clock that does not allow him to sleep past 6 am (unless its a school day, of course, then he would sleep until 9 if I let him) anyways, so the getting up at that time would be no different in our house. I think I am going to give this a whirl! It sounds like he will have so much fun with it. And he is 3 so this year is the first year he is actually “getting” Christmas. He talks everyday about how Santa can see him RIGHT NOW. Lol.

    And btw – yes, Seinfeld ROCKS. I love when they have the re-runs on at night after the news. I agree that if someone doesn’t think its funny, they are not funny either!

  24. 27
    Glamamom says:

    What’s exactly where I would choose to hang too!

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