10 New Year’s Resolutions I Refuse to Make but Will Probably Still Bitch About

No, you aren’t imagining things…I blogged for the first time in like three months.

I know it’s been forever since I’ve typed any words onto this page, but as we get ready to ring in 2013…I felt the urge to say something — anything — just to let you all know I haven’t totally dropped off the face of the earth.

Things change. Priorities change. You move on. And that’s OK. (That’s kinda how the whole “life” deal works.)

That being said, I give you 10 New Year’s resolutions I absolutely REFUSE to make this year, but will no doubt bitch and moan about and vow to try to adhere to on Facebook, Twitter, in other articles I write, in person, and the like. (Yes, I’m a hypocrite, and no, I don’t give a shit.)

1. I will stop beating myself up for not blogging on The Mommyologist as much as I should, or as much as I’d like to — even though the fact that I write 33 articles a week for my job at The Stir is more than a good enough excuse. (There’s only so much typing a gal’s fingers can take.)

2. I will not let the myriad of super-skinny celebrities I see hundreds of times (in photos) on a daily basis make me feel like shit about the way I look. (Ego-killing bitches.)

3. I will focus on being healthy instead of being the size I was when I got married, because being happy and healthy are what being Mom Sexy is all about. (But it’s hard to feel Mom Sexy when your favorite jeans don’t fit.)

4. I will somehow snap out of this early-midlife-crisis-holy-shit-I’m-35-years-old funk I’ve been in ever since I turned 35 last August. (That means this year I’m gonna be 36. WTF?)

5. I will not get stressed out and pissy when my house is a total mess, because having a messy house is actually one of the things that makes life so beautiful. (Although, having a clean house is pretty darn amazeballs too.)

6. I will not have one single hangover in 2013. Not one. (A girl can dream, right?)

7. I’ll stop giving the hubster a hard time about the vegan kick he’s on. (At least he’s sticking to something — which is a hell of a lot more than I can say for myself. )

8. I’ll stop assuming that everyone around me has a picture-perfect life with zero problems or struggles, because all it does is make me want to isolate myself from their perfection. (Nobody’s life is really perfect, is it?)

9. I’ll stop dreaming about wanting more and appreciate what I already have instead. (But if the keys to a summer home in Maine magically fall into my lap, I won’t complain.)

10. Once and for all, I’ll stop playing the “what if” game and focus on living in the present and moving forward. (But what if I hadn’t started eating carbs and dairy over the holidays again? I’ll bet my damn jeans would fit.)

Are you making any New Year’s resolutions? Do you honestly think you’ll stick to them?



  1. 1

    Happy New Year! I am usually good for a couple weeks and then after that, what resolution?

  2. 2

    UGH, now I am depressed because I really should do everything you just said….

  3. 3
    Michelle says:

    I will definitely be including some type of health resolution!? Stick to it?? Hmmm….to be seen…

  4. 4
    Mandy says:

    Excellent list! I’m all for being kinder to ourselves and living in the present.

  5. 5
    Anna says:

    happy new year! i only made one resolution this year, which i made about 3 days ago and my daughter wisely said when i told her it, “oh mommy, you won’t even make it to new year’s day!”

    so young, and yet she was so right.

  6. 6
    Shell says:

    I’ve totally given up on the idea that I’ll be the same size as when I got married. Ten years and three kids later, it’s just not realistic!

  7. 9

    Okay, I’m kinda liking the vegan kick your husband is into…hee hee. I LOVE this post because it’s real…very real. I’m going to try to do the hangover one…well, I’ll try my hardest! Happy New Year, lovely.

    • 10
      The Mommyologist says:

      He’s lovin’ the vegan thing! I just can’t live without my beef, otherwise maybe I’d hop on board. Happy New Year to you too!

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