Last night, I returned from one of the most awesome girls weekends I’ve ever had in my life! It was one of those weekends that had been on my calendar for a couple months and as the date of my departure inched closer and closer I got more and more excited. Girls weekends have always been great, but since having a child their value has risen considerably. I need these weekends to replenish my spirit and remind me that I am still capable of being the “fun chick” and to remember that once upon a time I was actually someone other than “Mommy.” I think that too often as mothers, we forget that we were in fact individuals at one point in our lives and if we don’t get away once in a while to reconnect with our pre-mommy personnas, it really just isn’t good for our health. Spending time with my best girlfriends always makes my “hidden” identity come to life again.

Before I left last week, I found myself kind of panicking at the thought of something going wrong that would stop me from getting on that plane on Friday. It is that time of year again, and the kiddos seem to be catching every little bug out there, so my poor son was subjected to practically being doused in Purell from head to toe anytime we ventured out in public. I mean, I’m a total germophobe anyway, but you dangle some much needed “girl time” in front of me and I pretty much turn into a complete lunatic. I was just convinced that the little guy was going to come down with something and my girls weekend would go right in the crapper. In my paranoid state of mind, I actually thought that the flu bug had a mind of its own and would just know that I had an upcoming girls weekend and would look at me and chuckle and say, “Screw you lady! You’re not going anywhere!” Apparently the flu bug didn’t know that it was talking to the Sanitizer Queen. You just don’t mess with her. The Purell showers paid off, I won the battle, and got on that flight without a hitch.

The friend that I visited on this particular trip is my best friend and former roommate from my days at the University of Tennessee (UT). To say that she and I “really raised hell” in our time at UT doesn’t even begin to justify the kind of antics that she and I used to get into. By the time we graduated, I think we were pretty much household names on that campus. To this day I’m still not sure if that is a good thing or a bad thing, but I do know that I’ve never had more fun in my life than I did in those short four years and I will never regret one second of my college experience. Somehow we managed to graduate without being kicked out of school for swimming in the fountain in front of the Humanities building or for charging all of our sorority sisters $1 per T-shirt for the Greek Week T-shirts she and I got for FREE since she was the Greek Week chair that year. (Those chicks thought they were getting the deal of the century… Suckers!). I guess now that the cat’s out of the bag I might as well also admit that we took the $90 or so that we got from those t-shirts and bought beer with the money. (Admit it, you think it was an awesome plan and wish you’d thought of it yourself)! Yep, we were pretty much legends. The poor UT Torchbearer statue in the middle of campus may never be the same after the way we treated him, but I think that she and I will go down in history as two of the coolest chicks who ever set foot on that campus. I won’t go into anymore detail on that story. This IS a mommy-blog after all!

My flight arrived at around 2:00pm on Friday, and my friend and I decided that it would be easiest for her to just keep driving around in circles around the airport until she saw me emerge from the terminal doors. A few months ago, she would’ve arrived an hour early and parked herself at the airport bar until my flight came in, at which point I would have parked myself on the bar stool right next to her and we would’ve had a good buzz going before we even left the airport. Of course, a few months ago she wasn’t toting along a newborn baby with her! She gave birth to her first child, a little girl, this past August, and now she was frantically driving in circles around the airport to avoid the crisis of the baby waking up, realizing she was strapped into the car seat, and screaming her head off in protest of that car seat the entire way home. When I finally came out of the building and saw her, we did a quick hug, threw my bag in the trunk, and hauled ass back to her house as fast as we could.

The car ride back to the house was just the first glimpse of the realization that our “girls weekends” have officially changed for good now that we are both mommies. Now, I’m not saying for one second that we didn’t have fun because truth be told, we had an absolute blast! It’s just that “fun” has definitely taken on a whole new meaning these days. Upon arrival back at my friend’s house, she gave me a quick tour, and then decided that it was time to go ahead and bust out the snacks. She was after all, a breast-feeding-mama and we all know that breast feeding makes you completely ravenous! She proceeded to pull out the lil’ smokies and crescent rolls from the fridge and baked us a delicious tray of pigs-in-a-blanket. Breast feeding burns an extra 500 or so calories a day, so there was really no issue with her sitting there and wolfing down those delicious hors d’oeuvres. I, on the other hand, had no excuse for such behavior. I have been working so hard these days to shed my inevitable five pound layer that shows up every fall, but those little porkers kept calling out to me and I just couldn’t resist, so I decided in celebration of being back together with my best gal, that I’d better have some of those pigs-in-a-blanket too. You know what? Don’t tell anybody, but I enjoyed every single one that I put in my mouth. And I’d definitely eat them again if a similar situation were to arise.

After we were finished stuffing our faces, it was time for the little munchkin’s feeding. My friend is one of the lucky ones out there who has had an insanely easy time with breast feeding. The baby latched right on and she’s a good eater and my bud’s got her on a great schedule. Let’s not forget the fact that she’s got these voluptuous boobs with totally bangin’ cleavage. Am I jealous? Yeah, a little. She’s also teeny tiny and if you saw her on the street you’d never believe she’d just had a baby two and a half months ago, but I kind of expected that one. If I could bounce back that quickly and look as good as her, I’d pop out a few more kids in a heartbeat. Ok, all body envy aside, let’s get back to the feeding. My friend may be lucky as far as the breasts go, but as far as feeding the munchkin goes, she’s got a spitter on her hands. The little beauty just happens to be one of those babies who can take someone out with one shot after a feeding. All babies burp after eating, but some just like to throw in a little extra sauce with the burps. After this particular feeding, my friend got a direct hit to the shoulder and kind of down her back too. I followed her into the baby’s room to get a new burp cloth and to change the munchkin’s diaper, and I stood there and looked at my friend and noticed that she had puke in her hair. Staying true to my witty self, I said to her, “well, at least it’s not your own puke in your hair this time…there’s something to be said for that!” At that point our hidden pre-mommy identities resurfaced and we busted out in uncontrollable laughter. This opened the door to a whole host of stories that we’d almost buried and forgotten about, and we just couldn’t resist the urge to relive them and have a few more laughs about the crazy girls that we once were. We spent the rest of the day and night just catching up and reminiscing and talking about all the things we did in college that hopefully both of us will take to our graves in an effort to save our children any unnecessary embarrassment and humiliation.

The next day we took a drive down to the UT campus and just rode around to check out some of our old haunts. I couldn’t believe how much the place had changed since we went there. I have to admit, I was actually disappointed to find that the very first dorm I lived in had been updated and looked all swanky and new, almost like a hotel. I firmly believe that part of the true college experience is living in a 10 x 10 cell with cinder block walls, no air conditioning, and a communal bathroom. I guess today’s freshmen just can’t handle roughing it in any way, shape or form. They don’t know what they’re missing! We also took a little drive down “frat row.” I sort of sunk down in my seat and poked my head up just enough to see out the windows when we drove by. You just never know what sort of frat-daddy alumni are still hanging around those houses on the weekends watching the football games and trying to convince themselves that 1.) they are still cool enough to hang with today’s frat guys, and 2.) that they still have hair.

After our little joy ride, we decided that we’d better grab some lunch to bring back to the house. My friend asked me if there was anything in particular that I’d like to have and only one thing came to mind. CHICK-FIL-A!! For those of you who have never had the privilege of eating at Chick-Fil-A, it is the most wonderful fast-food restaurant in the country and I feel sorry for you. If you are ever below the Mason-Dixon line, make sure to stop at the first one you see. They didn’t invent the chicken, but they did invent the chicken sandwich. We got in the drive-thru line to get our meals and weren’t shocked that there were about five or six cars ahead of us. The baby had been happily sleeping up until that point, but the minute the car started to slow down in that drive-thru lane, she was insistent on letting us know that she did not approve of the car stopping for any period of time. My friend proceeded to turn halfway around and start shaking the car seat back and forth in an effort to settle her little girl down long enough so that the drive-thru lady could hear our order. If anyone reading this knows of an invention that will shake the car seat for you, please let me know. My friend is definitely interested in doing business with you.

After the Chick-Fil-A adventure, we went back to my friend’s house to scarf down our food and relax a little for the afternoon before going out for a much-needed girls dinner, just the two of us! Her parents live nearby and had offered to keep the munchkin for a couple hours so that she and I could escape for some more delicious food and a little adult conversation. A pot of coffee, two showers, and one last minute wardrobe change later due to a post-feeding malfunction, we were off to the grandparents’ house to quickly drop off the baby and make our escape. I think we had almost convinced ourselves that we weren’t so much different from those fun loving college girls we used to be…and then my friend sent a text message to her husband (who was away on a boys weekend) and said that we were heading out for a night on the town and that she was wearing her “Fu!$-me” boots and double nursing pads. Honestly ladies and gentlemen, does it get any sexier than that?