Bringing Mom Sexy Back — Round 2

“You’re fat.”

“You’re so freakin’ old.”

“Your ass is huge.”

“Your boobs are totally saggy and make you look like an 80-year-old woman.”

“You’re ugly. And unattractive. And did I mention ugly?”

“You’re washed up.”

“Your time is over.”

“See that girl over there? She’s way skinnier and prettier than you.”

“That part of your life doesn’t exist anymore.”

“You aren’t worth it.”

“You don’t deserve to be happy.”

“YOU ARE NOT SEXY.”

These are only a few examples of the verbal diarrhea that has been filling my brain, coming out of my mouth, and pretty much destroying my Mom Sexy for the past couple of years or so.

Remember when I was like, ready to take over the world? You know, back in April of 2011 when I had this blog redesigned and wanted to encourage and inspire other women to feel confident and happy in their own skin and accept themselves wholeheartedly at whatever given point in their lives they were at?

Yeah — I was ridin’ the wave and preaching all sorts of nauseating positivity — but then something happened and I totally lost it. And it wasn’t one thing in particular that made me fall into a funk that has been nearly impossible to crawl out of. It was due to many factors, which when combined, were a recipe for self-loathing and negativity.

To put it plain and simple — somewhere along the line I stopped giving a shit about myself. I stopped taking care of me. I neglected myself to the point where I was pretty much convinced that all of the above statements (and more) were true.

And then a few weeks ago I suddenly “woke up” again.

I won’t elaborate on the series of events that have somehow managed to give me the swift kick in the ass I needed to make me want to crawl out of the hole full of bullshit I’d confined myself to for so long.

The important part is that I HAVE crawled out — and I’m back.

Yes, my friends — I think I’ve found my Mom Sexy again — and this time I really don’t want to lose it. For the first time in a LOONNNGGGG time — I feel like ME again. And the only way I’m going to remain on an upward swing is by TAKING CARE of ME again.

I’m paying attention to what I put into my body. (Get your head out of the gutter. I meant I’m eating really clean and healthy and all that shiz.)

I’m working out. Like a lot. Like every day if I can.

I’m making myself a priority.

I’m looking in the mirror each and every single day and giving myself some sort of compliment.

I’m taking a lot more deep breaths.

I’m reactivating my “I Don’t Give a Fuck” switch and not letting other people’s negativity and bullshit bring me down.

And most importantly — I’m REFUSING to feel guilty about doing any of those things.

Because I DESERVE it.

And I’m WORTH it.

I’m Mom Sexy.

And I’ll be DAMNED if I’m gonna let anyone take it from me again.

I’m Joining the Hanes Comfort Crew (& Hopefully Getting My Mom Sexy Back Again)

Ahhh. Comfort. It’s something we could all use a whole hell of a lot more of — especially since as moms, we spend a good majority of our time comforting other people, taking care of their needs — and forgetting to pay attention to ourselves in the process is kind of inevitable.

But you know what happens when you neglect yourself? You lose your Mom Sexy. Or at least that’s what’s happened to me over the past year-and-a-half or so. For a variety of reasons, I’ve been in a major funk, people. And slowly but surely, I’m crawling out of it — and I’m ready to find my Mom Sexy again and bring it back a second time around. (More on that to come in another post at some point. Soon. For reals.)

In the meantime, I’m taking the first step to reintroducing some comfort into my life — starting on Mother’s Day. I’m thrilled to announce that I’m becoming part of the Hanes Comfort Crew, and I’ll be attending the Hanes Comfort Summit at Disney World next week to learn all about ways moms can incorporate a little more comfort into our daily routines — which is something we all need and deserve. I’ll be joining an amazing group of bloggers for those few days, which is awesome, because let’s face it — working at home full-time doesn’t provide for a whole lotta face time with adults. (I NEED THIS DESPERATELY.)

This photo pretty much sums up my excitement level.

 

One very happy bitch.

On that note — I’m off to finish up work for the week, pack, and get my Disney on. Can’t wait to spread the Mom Sexy love and fill you in on all sorts of comfy stuff when I get back.

(Yes, I’m coming back. I promise. Maybe. Probably.)

 

“Disclosure – I am a member of the Hanes Comfort Crew and did receive a trip to Disney World with my family on behalf of Hanes. My opinions and my posts are all my own.”

 

Mom Sexy Fridays: Runners Are Mom Sexy (and ANYONE Can Be One)

No, you aren’t hallucinating — this is a Mom Sexy Fridays post. I know, I know — it’s been forever since I’ve had one go up, but give me a break, ok? I’m doing the best I can since I went back to work full-time a little over 4-months-ago (I’m LOVING my new job, by the way.)

And since it’s been so long since I’ve had someone guest post and help spread the Mom Sexy love, I can’t think of anyone better to get me back on the bandwagon than Sarah from In the Trenches of Mommyhood. She’s totally one of my best bloggy peeps (even though it’s been rumored that the two of us are nothin’ but trouble when we get together.)

 

Sarah & her boys

Sarah had a mind once.  Now she has children.
With a husband and three sports-loving sons, Sarah’s Boston trenches are full of balls – literally and figuratively.  She is a habitual nail-biter, Coke Zero drinker and cabernet-lover, and her personal blog chronicles her oftentimes guilt-riddled working motherhood journey and her quest for non-pee-smelling bathrooms.
Check out Sarah’s blog In the Trenches of Mommyhood and follow her on Twitter and Facebook.

 

I just completed my third half marathon this past weekend.  I know, I can’t believe it either.

I never thought running could be Mom Sexy, but trust me, it is.

Well, not the actual physical act of running. I’m more of a trudger than a runner. Or, for that matter, the immediate aftermath: sweatiness and shortness of breath are NOT Mom Sexy!

But you know what IS Mom Sexy?

Feeling strong. Feeling confident. Feeling proud because you can run 13.1 miles (in a row!) without stopping.

And running does that for me.

Another Mom Sexy benefit to running is this: ALONE TIME. How often do we, as overworked and underappreciated CEO’s of our Trenches, get to have 30 minutes or an hour to ourselves, to do something beneficial for both our mental and physical health?

Running gives you this time.

And you know what? Anyone can be a runner.

Let me repeat that. ANYONE can be a runner.

Yes, you. And you. And you.

Have you ever stood at the finish line of a race, whether it’s a 5k, a 5-miler or heck, even a marathon?

Runners come in all different shapes, sizes and ages.

How’s that for Mom Sexy?!

Do you think you want to be a Mom Sexy runner? Check out my blog section titled Sarahviz Runs for motivation and guidance!

(And pssstt…I hear The Mommyologist herself has started the Couch to 5K program!)

Hooking Up With My Old Boyfriend Was a Shitty Idea

Ok, it’s confession time. I’ve been a bit of a bad girl these past few months — and I’m not especially proud of my actions. I’ve lied to myself (and sort of to others.) I’ve treated my self esteem like a piece of gum on the bottom of my shoe. But I’ve also done the worst bad deed of them all — I cheated, and got lured into the evil (yet oh-so-tempting) clutches of an old boyfriend.

Yeah, remember when I told you about Taylor — my SCALE? Well, that asshat’s been back in my life for the past couple months or so, and as of this morning, I’m going to do my best to officially break up with him for good. Because all he does is make me feel fat, ugly, and totally unworthy of experiencing any sort of normal fun.

 

Ok, I have one more confession: Taylor has had me in such a depression about my appearance that I actually decided to skip a dinner out because I didn’t think I deserved to reward myself with good conversation, delicious cocktails, and anything remotely resembling a carb. I missed out on a really great night — all because of what that shithead told me when I woke up that day.

You see those perfectly adorable pictures of me at the top of this page? Yeah — I was a good 10 pounds thinner when those were taken about a year ago. And you know what else? I was also extremely hungry, and I wasn’t working out for fear of bulking up, and I was scared to even eat a pretzel for fear of blowing up like a balloon again. And honestly, that’s just no way to live. My relationship with Taylor was great, and he was telling me all sorts of lovely things I wanted to hear — but it turns out his adorations were short lived.

I’m turning 35-years-old in a few months, and I don’t want to go into my 35th year hating the way I look and feel all because the number on the scale isn’t what I want it to be. I want to stop beating myself up and feeling like I’ve failed somehow because my favorite pair of Seven for All Mankind Jeans only fit when I’m hungry and lethargic. Instead, I want to live the next 35 years of my life being happy, healthy, active, and eating a fuckin’ cheeseburger and fries and having a second or third margarita without worrying whether or not Taylor is going to scold me for it the next morning.

I’ve said it over and over again — Mom Sexy is a state of mind. And the only way I’m going to get there again is by holding myself accountable to my original concept of the whole Mom Sexy deal.

Mom Sexy is about being confident and happy in your own skin, and accepting yourself the way you are at THIS point in your life.

With that being said, I’m cleaning up my diet and eating well most of the time, but I’m not skipping any more dinners out in the future. I’m also getting myself back on a good workout regime, committing to exercising at least 5-6 days a week, for at least 20 minutes. Every little bit helps, right?

Most importantly, I’m going to try my absolute hardest to refocus my energy on being healthy instead of being skinny, or hitting a certain low point on the scale. After all, I’d rather be a little bit heavier and be toned and feel confident on the beach this summer than be stick-thin with all sorts of things sagging way lower than they’re supposed to.

We’ll see how it goes — and hopefully in another few weeks I’ll be feeling like my old self again — the bubbly, in-your-face preachin’ Mom Sexy pain-in-the-ass that I used to be. Stay tuned.

 

Image via -Paul-H/Flickr

Mom Sexy Fridays: Change Is Super Sexy

Please welcome  Jacki from Dare 2 Dream Dare 2 Do as my Mom Sexy Fridays guest poster today! (And please give her a round of applause for being understanding about the fact that my schedule is nuts as hell lately — cuz it really is).

 

 

Jacki is a book obsessed, maniacally efficient, logically creative, feminist in a conservative facade who is currently training for her first 5k race.  She works full time outside the home, is finishing up a Master’s degree, and coaches her son’s soccer team. She obviously has too much on her plate (like most moms).

Make sure to check out Jacki’s  blog Dare 2 Dream Dare 2 Do and follow her on Twitter or Facebook.

 

We all have this moment when we know we need a change.  Whether it is a new job, a new diet, or a new haircut.  Something, anything, just to get us out of our rut, get the momentum going, and feel like we are more than what we have been.

For me, it started with exercise.

This past November I began working out with a personal trainer once a week.  It was costly and not something everyone can afford, but I was just not capable of keeping myself motivated.

With no one keeping track of my successes but me, well, let’s just say we were screwed from the very beginning.

I needed accountability.  I needed to not look like a complete lazy jack ass in front of a healthy 21 year-old college student/personal trainer.

I had learned to live with lazy jack ass, but I didn’t want someone else to see it.

So I began a cross training workout with the TRX system once a week.  With homework.  Yes, exercises to do at home.  And I did them, because I knew that my trainer would be expecting improvements by our next appointment.

Suddenly, something happened.  Having never, ever, ever even considered running a viable and enjoyable form of exercise (running for the sake of running, come on?), I was partaking in the Couch to 5K training program.

I was also lining up friends and family members to run 5K’s, 20K’s, and mud runs with me.  I was looking forward to getting up at 5:15 am and into the gym by 6:00 am to start my day with weight lifting and sprints.

Crazy shit, huh?

What the hell happened?  Well, I ran. I ran for a few minute longer than I thought was possible and I looked inside myself and was proud and amazed.  Then I ran a little bit longer, or a little bit faster.

I continued to feel amazed, for a bit.  Then the amazement went away and was replaced with this even better feeling of “if I can do this, what the hell else can I do?” and the good old “I freakin’ rock!”

Know what else happened?  I started craving healthy food and eating better.  I started using moisturizer daily, exfoliating my skin regularly, and considering outfits beyond hoodies and jeans.  I was feeling good on the inside and I wanted that to shine through.

That’s not it!  I started all kinds of things that I was once afraid to even try or consider possible.  I haven’t sold the house and packed up the family to travel around the world, but I am moving towards the goal of doing something with my 40+ hours a week that will make me happy, well fed, and feeling like the me that I have kept hidden for so very long.

The hidden me is awesome, she is sexy, and she can’t wait to taste each new day.  All because I didn’t want to be a lazy jack ass any longer.  All it took was just one step, one change.

Go for it!  What will your change be?

 

Mom Sexy Fridays: Giving Credit Where It’s Due

Wow. Today is Friday, and that means it’s time for another Mom Sexy Fridays post. But today is actually a very special Friday…because it also happens to be my little dude’s 6th birthday.

Holy shit. SIX. Where in the hell did the past few years go? Because I totally remember being in the hospital and giving birth to him like it was yesterday. I was happy. I was relieved. I was overcome with emotion when I saw his little face for the first time. But I was also exhausted after 24-hours of labor. And I kept farting uncontrollably because I was so numb that I couldn’t hold them in. And I was pretty much the unsexiest that I’ve ever been in my life. But then again, I never would’ve eventually found my Mom Sexy again if I hadn’t been a mom in the first place.

Actually, nothing that is good in my life right now ever would’ve happened to me if that little boy hadn’t made his entrance into this world on March 2nd, 2006 at 8:10pm. Because he changed everything.

Without him, I wouldn’t have rediscovered who I truly am. I wouldn’t be a parent, which is the greatest gift that anyone can ever experience. I wouldn’t be confident. I wouldn’t have learned not to sweat the small stuff so much. I wouldn’t have learned what it’s like to love someone so much that you think your head might explode. And I wouldn’t have realized that every single solitary moment of my life has happened for a reason, because it is all part of a bigger plan that we have no control over.

If my little man hadn’t come into my life when he did, then I wouldn’t be typing this post right now, because I wouldn’t be the Mommyologist, so I wouldn’t even know the definition of Mom Sexy let alone have a Friday blog series dedicated to it.

So today, I’m giving credit where it’s due, because I owe all of the amazing things that have happened to me over the past six-years to my adorable, loving, super-intelligent, incredibly sweet, pint-sized comedian that makes my world a better place on a daily basis.

Happy Birthday Little Dude. Your mama loves the shit out of you.

 

 

Mom Sexy Fridays: Where Did My Sexy Go?

OMG. Um…yeah. OMG. Sometime, somewhere in the past month, I started doing something that I swore I would NEVER do. I mean, there are certain things that just really go against everything I’ve set out to prove with my whole Mom Sexy Revolution. And I’m not proud of what I’ve been doing lately.

Ladies — I can’t believe I’m actually saying this…but I have pretty much broken each and every single rule of Mom Sexy since I became a full-time WAHM almost a month ago.

I’ve gotten out of bed and thrown on yoga pants instead of “really” getting dressed. (Shameful).

I’ve decided to totally forego makeup because I know I’m not leaving the house that day. (Inexcusable).

And I’ve also found myself raiding the fridge and totally falling off my healthy eating bangwagon simply because I love working while sitting at my kitchen island and the damn fridge is right there staring me in the face. (Disgusting, and my ass is starting to show the evidence).

OMG. I LOVE LOVE LOVE being a full-time WAHM…but I’ve got to get my shit together again.

On that note, I think I’ll go pour a glass of wine and drown my sorrows…and then hopefully get out of bed tomorrow feeling like I’m ready to take over the world again as my normal Mom Sexy self.

That is, of course, after I have coffee and check email and get my entire day planned out. But if I manage to throw on jeans and apply a little makeup after that, I’m considering it a Mom Sexy win. Baby steps, right?

 

I’d love for you to be a part of my Mom Sexy Fridays guest post series going forward this year. If you’d like to participate and share whatever it is that makes you feel Mom Sexy, or how you got your Mom Sexy back, please email me at themommyologist(at)gmail(dot)com. I’d love to hear your story and share it with other women who want to get their sexy back!