So…today is kind of a special day for me and the hubster, because it happens to be our 8th wedding anniversary. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, eight years ago today, the hubster took me off the market and made an honest woman out of me…or something to that effect.
To this day, I’m still not sure which one of us got the better end of the deal, because we can both be a pretty big pain in the ass at times.
All pains in the ass aside, however, somehow we make this shit work, even though it’s far from perfect.
We both work hard, and honestly, 98% percent of the time we lead completely separate lives, and it’s tough to remember that we are in fact, husband and wife, and not just “little dude’s parents.”
This past weekend, the two of us went off to Newport, Rhode Island for a little anniversary getaway minus the kiddo. And it was AWESOME.
The weather was in the mid-80s. Did I mention that this is freakin’ October?
Yes…that’s me. In a tank top. In Rhode Island. In OCTOBER. I had this cute little breezy shirt on over it, but felt the need to strip down to that tank top to avoid looking like a sweaty mess. Because being a sweaty mess on your anniversary trip just isn’t Mom Sexy.
Anyhow…it was wonderful to get away and to reconnect and to somehow act like a real couple and remember why we got hitched in the first place.
And then we came home, absolutely elated to see little dude again, and to give him a couple of surprises that we picked up for him on our trip.
But since little dude often likes to remind us that he is most definitely running the freakin’ show around here, he came up with a little surprise of his own to give us later on that night.
Actually, it was a HUGE surprise…conveniently disguised as one GIGANTIC STUCK POOP. Have you ever had a kid with a GIGANTIC STUCK POOP?
Trust me…you’re missing the show of the century if you haven’t seen this phenomenon.
Little dude went to bed fine, but then he woke up about an hour later saying that his butt hurt and he didn’t know why. We got him up, sat him down on the toilet…and watched him proceed to turn a bright shade of purple, and produce a rock-hard turd about the size of the dime.
And that’s when it hit us that this was no ordinary shit. We were definitely dealing with a GIGANTIC STUCK POOP.
We went straight from an alone weekend on the beautiful coast of Rhode Island, to hanging out in the bathroom with our five year-old waiting in completely anticipation of him finally passing the GIGANTIC STUCK POOP.
And finally, the evening concluded with the hubster sitting on the floor, little dude sitting on the shitter, and me hovering over little dude sticking a suppository in his ass while he giggled and begged me to keep doing it because he said he could feel the poop finally breaking loose.
And this, of course, had the hubster and I laughing so hard that we were both practically in tears.
Marriage may have it’s shitty moments…but sometimes you just have to recognize the little things that make life so special. Like helping your kid push out a GIGANTIC STUCK POOP and in turn, realizing what a great team you are.
Happy Anniversary to me and the hubster…and best wishes for a shit-free year going forward.








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